[sunshinebloom]

Lesson learnt

2012-01-25T19:17:00.002+08:00

I've now learnt my lesson.

Next time I will just buy the present and get everyone to split. Asking people to buy a small present each and combining them together is far too troublesome. Especially during CNY period, everyone busy with visiting and most shops are closed. How many actually bothered to get it? 3/8 people actually got the present. :\ I remember sending the message on Saturday, so I guess for most people there should've been time on sat to go out and buy. Although I myself was stuck at home doing assignments... Hahaha.

Sigh... All I wanted was to let everyone have more time to study since from past experience, shopping together will waste a lot of time. So from now on, I will buy the present and then get money back. Fast and easy, no complaints.

Where's the sincerity.

Reasons

2011-12-26T20:19:00.003+08:00

I've always believed that things happen for a reason.

I've been wondering why things turned out this way for me in CSC... Over these past 7mths, I've been through phases of giving up and motivation to go on. It has been an emotional rollercoaster. This month, I think I've found the reason.

I got selected as a Meido Ambassador for EOY and after the event, there has been some plans going on behind the scenes for further growth for us. It's exciting and it's like getting a super flexible part-time job.

I've also joined a Jpop dance group. It is just made up of girls who love dancing, no biggie. But it's my passion and that's what matters.

I now question myself if I should even bother considering re-running for next year in CSC. With so many exciting things going on around me, I ask myself why I should make myself stay in a group I'm so uncomfortable with. I once said that my reason for staying in CSC is to inspire people...

But then again, I don't HAVE to be in CSC maincomm to be able to inspire right? So why torture myself?

The decision is becoming clearer as each day pass... But I guess I will only make my final decision when the AY is over. If I leave, I'll definitely miss being part of CSC. It has been a meaningful and amazing journey. I do worry about CSC's future, since it's dynamics has changed so much. It may change for the better or the worst, no one is sure. But change is definite. Among all the uncertainty, what I know best is that I no longer belong in CSC. I'm unable to blend in and I always feel so out of place. :\

Even if i choose to leave CSC, I will still continue this passion of mine in another way. I will still contribute in the society and I no longer have to "do things for the sake of doing it". When you're in a club, sometimes you have to do things even when it's against your own principles... Well okay not really cos I just ponned the tree decorating thingy. LOL. I'm sorry but I really don't see how decorating a damn tree will help the environment. Furthermore, printing quotes on PAPERS to decorate it. Contradicting much?

Okay enough ranting. Hope you had a happy christmas.

New Blog!

2011-11-26T15:44:00.001+08:00

I created a new blog! (:

www.suzukisuzume.blogspot.com

I'm not gonna ditch this blog though. This blog will be more of like a personal blog whereas the other one will be on events happening in my life and pictures will be included too. :D

Hahaha. Too free ah.

Music

2011-11-26T14:54:00.002+08:00

Let's face it, I'm not a music person.

However, regardless of that fact, at least I still respect music which I'm not into. For people who know me, I'm obviously a jpop (or H!P fan to be exact) fan.

Honestly, I'm unable to appreciate kpop. I don''t hate them or whatsoever. I know that some of them even had 10 years of training before debuting which is really admirable. However, I usually don't chase after music that's in the trend. Or more like I'm not the kind of person who follow trends. I lead life in my own pace and I usually give my support to those that are left behind.

By saying 'left behind', let's be honest here. Morning Musume or any other H!P groups' popularity is slowly dying down. They no longer perform on suuuuper big stages as before and they are obviously lagging behind in oricon charts. Yet, somehow I'm still a fan of theirs. Strange, yet true.

H!P produces some really meaningful songs. Such as 'Tomo' and 'Namidacchi'. It's not the usual lovey dovey or cutesy songs they do, but it's songs about Friends and being strong. I also learn a lot from the artists themselves. Take Ai-chan as an example. *Refer to previous posts.

I really appreciate my poor friends who watch all the youtube videos I spam them with. Hahaha. They didn't have to, but most of them watch the whole thing. Well I guess that's simple respect right? I mean when people share with me music, I'll give the music a chance and listen/watch the whole thing. It's really hard to make me go crazy over something but at least I listen to the whole thing.

All music is beautiful, it's just a matter of whether you can appreciate it or not. Basic respect is to just listen to the whole thing and keep all criticism to yourself if you can't appreciate it. Especially if you're talking to a fan. I know I can't control anyone's mouth/way of thinking, but it really hurt me when people just... do things they do.

Let's be direct here. I'm not a kpop fan, but yet I finished watching the whole video that consisted of TWO kpop songs. And yet, you can't even finish watching one jpop video that I wanted to share with you. By 'sharing', it doesn't mean that I'm forcing you to like it. I don't know how to phrase this anymore, but I was just really hurt and disappointed. Apart from this, I find it so hard to talk to you now... I sincerely want to talk to you but I keep feeling this barrier between us. We say we love and miss each other, but is that really true? ):

Sigh.

CSC

2011-11-19T01:26:00.001+08:00

CSC = whatsapp users + the rest.

Unfortunately, I'm under the category of "the rest".

Oh, I love my life.

Stress

2011-11-15T00:29:00.002+08:00

Everyday it's just CSC, CSC, CSC.

Duty, briefing/preparation for next event, finance. There's no break. I don't even have the time to stop and take a breather, let alone study for my upcoming THREE tests.

Let's be honest here... If this happened last year (3 events in a row) which wouldn't happen in the first place, I won't be so stressed. It's because AY10/11 had synergy. I'm sorry if I'm mean but this is my honest thought. Plus I was able to get more mental support from AY10/11. They are an understanding bunch whereby everyone put in their all. This allowed us to invest the least time to get the best results.

I'm really very tired... Mentally. Everyday when I go home, even when I'm not the organiser of any of the 3 projects, I still have pile loads of finance to do. When I reach school, I have to run about getting signatures for finance paperwork. I have to juggle this together with the duties I have at events.

I have not touched ANYTHING at all for my 3 tests and they start from Wednesday onwards.

Wish me good luck.

Disappointed

2011-10-23T00:21:00.002+08:00

Seriously, I wonder why I cared so much for him.

Everyone in the family kept BEGGING him to just press on and work hard for the last 3 weeks. Yet, he still acts as if he's having a HOLIDAY. Watching youtube videos the moment he gets home, using his iTouch to do god-knows-what and always going out to "study with friends". My mum specially took leave to guide him along and he does not even appreciate it.

When I was having my O levels... (don't tell me about generation gap cos we're only 2 freaking years apart) I was on my own for O levels. I didn't touch my laptop for the last 3 weeks before O levels at all. All I had was my handphone. I was focused and studied from 9am to 10pm everyday.

Him? He wakes up at 1pm and sleeps at 1am. Probably only having about 5hours of study time. I don't see him trying to revise any notes and I'm sure he does not have all the concepts well. He has not even STARTED memorizing his SS and egeog. Plus, he's not the last minute type. He cannot absorb anything at the last minute. And here we are, 1 day left before the start of O levels and he's still watching "unnatural" on xinmsn and telling my mum that iPhone 3Gs is now free.

Like wtf? Is that the freaking priority now? He may have other plans he is thinking of but there's no harm in doing well for O levels right? At least if he changes his mind in the future at least he has a decent set of results to get him around. With fucked up results he'll probably just end up like my dad, jobless and idle.

When he was finding the website for the free iPhone 3Gs, I asked him in a stern voice, "Is this what you should be thinking now? Get off the laptop." And he replied in a whatever-bitch-just-go-away tone, "Orh." So I just turned the switch off. I've had enough of his bullshit. What's worst is that my mum even asked me in an angry tone, "What are you doing?!" Like as if I'm at fault now! FUCK.

If he's putting in all his effort in revising and doing his best, I won't even bother him if he takes breaks and browse the webs. BUT the thing is that he's putting in half the effort, having the guts to put "I don't like it when I don't know what I should be studying ):" as his facebook status. He has no study plan, in which I have told him to do long fucking time ago and now he still dare to say that?!

Here's the facebook conversation we had thereafter:

Angsty Wan Yee I don't like it when you're not studying when you should be.
16 minutes ago · Like

Ang Mao Wei Sod off
15 minutes ago · Like

Angsty Wan Yee Sure. Go ahead and fail your O levels. I don't really care anymore. I bet with you that you will regret.
12 minutes ago · Like

Ang Mao Wei And maybe I won't
12 minutes ago · Like
Angsty Wan Yee Prove it to me then. Words are nothing.
5 minutes ago · Like

Ang Mao Wei Just you wait and see
5 minutes ago · Like

Btw, "Sod off" means screw off. I don't think that's how you should talk to someone who has been caring for you. I give you advice, I buy Sushi back to encourage you... I care for you. And this is what I get?

You know what? You're on your own. Go ahead and screw up your own life. It's not the results that matter here anymore. It's your freaking attitude. With that attitude of yours, I assure you that the only place that you will ever be wanted with that awesome way of thinking is probably just the gangsters. Good luck to you with that.

Disappointment.

Teddy & CSC

2011-10-08T01:32:00.002+08:00

Camp is over.

During the debrief, many happy tears were shed. The camp ended successfully and on a happy note.

For me, I'm glad the camp ended well. However, somehow, I wasn't able to feel the same happiness as the rest were feeling. Many praised that the camp was carried out very well. Perhaps I doubted that statement.

It's true, everything went about fine. I guess this camp was carried out much differently than I expected. It was more fun than serious. I guess I'm more of the serious type which is why I felt differently from others. I'm not saying that the camp sucked, but more of like... it came with its own set of cons.

Without being serious, I felt as if we were not able to think through things properly. Of course, more laughters and smiles were exchanged and it forged a bond between all of us. However, when it comes to work, these may have made us overlook some details. I'm unable to pinpoint it but I keep feeling that something was missing. What did we learn from this camp? None of it was said during the debrief. It was all self praising and also saying that we are all bonding well. It's true. The feeling of staying it slowly getting stronger. But putting that aside, are we able to produce synergy? Have they learnt to be more meticulous in doing things and have they learnt any values? Perhaps they did... just that it was not mentioned during the debrief.

I just hope that their happiness was genuine. (:

Personally, I realised something very important during this camp. From the moment I saw Orange cry from being touched by an IMH patient, I found my reason... my reason to stay in CSC. Why did I join CSC in the first place? Yes, I loved community service and wanted to organise a project to help animals. But if you think about that, I can do it even if I was not in CSC. Through this camp... I found something new I wanted to do. I wanted to inspire and impact people's lives. I want to do things to allow people to experience the same thing as Orange did. This is my new motivation.

When camp ended, I traveled home with Teddy and I was looking forward to this moment for a long time. We talked and I cried, which shocked me a bit. Haha. She asked me if I was feeling better and what my thoughts of the camp were. I told her my true feelings...

I told her I was very guilty. During the preparation period, I was feeling very unstable. I wanted to avoid going to school for CSC as much as possible. I even said some not-very-nice stuff to Anna. She was pushing me and asking me to go to school... yet I just brushed her aside. After the 2nd talk with Hwee Hoon a week before camp, in which she said to me that during the period of deciding if I should leave, I should still commit my all, I decided to do so. Only then I started getting back to CSC. "Just do it", was what I did. I told Teddy, "I will never know the outcome unless I just do it" And thus, I was able to give my all for the camp.

When I cried, Teddy held my hand and passed me a piece of tissue. She then gave me more advice to move on.

I love Teddy... as a friend and as a sister. When I reached home, I sent her a message:

"Hi teddy. (: Hehe once again I've got to thank you for talking to me today. It's always good to have you around! Although I hope to also catch up more on your side as well. (: Hope to see you soon after you exams! Though we may all gradually distance apart, but I will never forget that you will always be there for us and I'm very very grateful for that. You are like a big sister I never had and I can always rely on. (: Thank you for just being you. Good night!"

She replied:

"Your smile was a big gift when I arrived! I stayed wanting to hear from you, knowing that you're fine now is the greatest gift! Also, I don't hope we just remember each other but rather keep in touch till we aged. Goodnight. (:"

When I typed the message and read her message, I cried. This time, they were happy tears mixed with feelings of being touched and also a small bit of fear of the possibility of losing contact with her and will never get to feel this way ever again.

CSC AY10/11 are a bunch of people I will never wanna lose contact with. I really love them. I also believe that as long as we put in effort, we will definitely stay together till we age and maybe even beyond that! ;) Thus, to the me who may be reading this 10 years down the road... if you lost contact with anyone from AY10/11, grab your phone or whatever is invented already and organise an outing for AY10/11! Trust me, these are a bunch of friends/family members whom you should NEVER, EVER lose.

Thank you and goodnight. It will never be goodbye. (:

Taking flight

2011-10-03T00:38:00.001+08:00

Jishin Motte Yume Wo Motte Tobitatsu Kara
(I'll Take Flight With Confidence And Dreams)

English

Ah, I had quite a sweet kiss
Yeah, though I couldn’t show my true heart
Ah, that was a long time ago now
Hey, I’ve grown up a little now

I won’t show my tears, I’ll just go on my journey
Wow wow
I want you to trust me

Thank you till now!
Wow wow wow
Thank you tonight!
I’ll hold my head high, keep a smile on my face
And spread my wings

Thank you till now!
Wow wow wow
Thank you tonight!
I got to know you, I got to know love
And here I am now

I’ll take flight now
With confidence and dreams

Ah, I couldn’t put my feelings into words
Yeah, and the years went by until this day
Ah, I’m a little embarrassed to say it now I’m going
But I love you and this place

When I took down the photos in my room with so many memories
Wow wow
I couldn’t help crying

Thank you till now!
Wow wow wow
Thank you tonight!
I’ll carry my hopes, stay hopeful
And find a way to see you again

Thank you till now!
Wow wow wow
Thank you tonight!
If I fall, I’ll get back up
And move on to the next stage

I’ll be confident, I won’t give up
May my future be bright

Thank you till now!
Wow wow wow
Thank you tonight!
I’ll carry my hopes, stay hopeful
And find a way to see you again

Thank you till now!
Wow wow wow
Thank you tonight!
If I fall, I’ll get back up
And move on to the next stage

I’ll be confident, I won’t give up
May my future be bright

Credits: http://www.kiwi-musume.com/lyrics/Momusu/singles/konochikyuunoheiwawo/jishinmotte.html

Takahashi Ai

2011-10-01T01:40:00.003+08:00

30th September 2011 marks the end of the 10 year journey for Takahashi Ai, (former) leader of Morning Musume.

愛ちゃん、卒業おめでとう！
Ai-chan, congratulations on your graduation!

Unfortunately and regrettably, I was unable to attend her graduation. Through articles, comments and videos, I shed tears for Ai-chan. Both happy and sad. Sometimes I find it a pity that I fell in love with Morning Musume so late and only started really liking her after her graduation announcement. What made me like her so much is the inspiration she gave me.

She's an awesome, singer, dancer, leader, sister and friend. I know it's kinda stupid for me so say such things since I don't know her personally but through blogs and videos, this is the type of personality I understand from her. She pours her heart and soul into everything she does and is always smiling. She always put others in front of her, which reminds me of Teddy. (:

As I struggle between the choice of staying or leaving CSC, Ai-chan actually teaches me some values. Ai-chan worked hard, very very hard till the very end. Regardless of my choice, I hope to pour in everything I can too... with a smile. (: Apart from that, Ai-chan welcomes new members with an open heart and properly guides them. She treats her juniors like little sisters and her fellow members as a family. This inspires me to work hard to open up to my juniors and to teach them CSC stuff too! I want the feeling of the CSC family back. :')

Ai-chan, jiayous after your graduation! I'll be looking forward to and will be supporting your post graduation activities! Thank you for inspiring me to smile and move on. Although I never even saw you in person, you're probably the best 'sister' I have apart from Teddy. Hee. Through your smiles and songs I'm able to feel comfort. Arigatou!

Please don't send me to IMH, I'm perfectly fine. Hahaha. I feel shocked to feel this way too... But I really feel the 'elder sister' feeling from her... It's as if she's here to hug me and say, "Everything's gonna be okay, I'll be here with you". I don't think it's a bad thing right? It's just plain awesome that an idol can actually give you strength. To me, that is what being an idol is. To inspire and to provide smiles and strength for your fans... And not just boobs and looks to please your fans. This is why I love Jpop so much, cos the artists are so genuine and hardworking. (:

Ai-chan, Ganbatte! Ai-chan daisuki!

Everyday

2011-09-25T17:38:00.002+08:00

I don't feel like it's the holidays at all...

Everyday I feel like something is holding me down from enjoying myself. ):

ARGH I HATE THIS FEELING.

Thanks, but no thanks

2011-09-23T23:05:00.002+08:00

I know you guys are concerned, but I really can't stand those that come and lecture/comfort me as if they know exactly what I'm going through. I haven't even told a single word to you and you come telling me a whole chunk of stuff.

Thanks, I understand your good intentions, but I'd rather not have them.

Cry

2011-09-18T00:55:00.002+08:00

I have no idea why I cry anymore...

I thought things were better. I was able to put in all my effort on Friday for Magical Autumn... Then when Saturday came, I just went back into a sad phase. Argh, I hate it.

Depression

2011-09-10T03:42:00.002+08:00

And so I took the depression quiz on Singapore HPB and these were the results:

Scoring 16/27...
"Your responses indicate that you have moderate to severe depressive symptoms. You should seek help if these symptoms have been present for 2 weeks or more OR if you are not functioning normally. "

I cried.

Give me a reason

2011-09-06T00:59:00.002+08:00

Everyday I look for reasons to continue, but instead, I keep getting reasons to give up.

Somehow, the thought of quitting became very clear as my exams ended. I ever did harbor these thoughts before, but it was never so... real.

I'm unable to think well partially because I just feel so frustrated inside. Things that piss me of keep happening and it's not helping at all. I do countless mistakes and get scolded countless times. I know it's my fault.

It's like I lost my passion... Give me a reason to continue in a place where:

1. I feel no more connection to.

2. An advisor who once said, "I do not want another Wan Yee". Which probably means if I were to go, it'll be much better.

3. I cannot focus/commit as much as before.

4. I have no passion for.

To be honest, I rather spend the time doing all these bullshit at animal shelters. Yes, what I do may not have direct impact, but what I do can be easily replaced by others as well. It does not give me a sense of satisfaction nor motivation. If I were to volunteer my time at animal shelters, I can share my love and I can be loved back.

I hate doing things I find no meaning to. Like finance, stupid quotations... All the clubs survived well without it for how many years already. I don't see why I have to waste my precious time doing this and doing up a fucking item list. Emailing me ONE DAY before the deadline to tell me to submit a payment voucher is NOT FUN. FUCK.

I'm sorry but I'm really pissed now. I feel so frustrated... I really wish to quit... But yet again, as I said before, I have responsibilities to bear... I was thinking of quitting after Hands to Paws... I know it's irresponsible but I really cannot take it anymore. If I feel like this everyday, not only my grades will deprove, but I can also just go mad one day.

If only I can just say "I quit" and just leave.

Not fun

2011-08-22T18:46:00.001+08:00

Doing CSC stuff 4 days before exams is NOT FUN.

I repeat, NOT FUN.

Review

2011-08-13T11:42:00.002+08:00

Had my review with hh yesterday. This year's review came early...

For some reason I didn't really want to share what I was going through. Cos tbh, the problem lies in me. I'm not exactly trying my best, I'm just waiting for the motivation and commitment to come back by itself.

She said this to me, "You are much stronger than you think, even stronger than I think you are."

It made me feel so guilty. I'm not trying, I'm not being strong, I'm just wallowing in my own misery which I HATE. I just look at things happen, not doing my best in helping out... I got to say, I can't even settle my own businesses, how can I settle others? All I wish to do now is to just concentrate on myself, but life doesn't allow me to. I have responsibilities to bear, things to do.

Hh also said that if anyone wants to leave at anytime, they can. Which made me quite tempted, actually. But I can't be so irresponsible...

If I leave, Bella has to settle finance by herself which is really pitiful. Finance is really a pain in the ass.

If I leave, MA would have one organiser less which really sucks, cos there are just so many things to do.

If I leave, "Leaders need no title" would have no mentor to guide them along, although I can be easily replaced.

If I leave, I would not have fulfilled the thing which made me want to join CSC in the first place - to organise an animal-related project.

I can feel my motivation slowly coming back already, which is great. (: But I'm just feeling so tired everyday... I need energy and something to constantly keep me going. I guess it's time to visit the shelters again...

人生。

Endure

2011-08-11T01:13:00.002+08:00

我慢して。

It's about time to get some control over my feelings. Over the course of 2 months, I've went through infatuation, missing someone and developing feelings.

I feel so cheap, being swayed so easily. Where's my determination? Where's my self-control?

Suzume, endure your feelings... You have more important things to concentrate on now. Exams are coming up, MA is coming up. Love yourself.

Go to sleep.

Random?!

2011-08-05T22:23:00.002+08:00

Getting random requests from people lately...

1. My classmate suddenly asked me if I was interested for some flexible part-time job. He said if I was then he will bring me to see his workplace. Sounded interesting so I agreed. Turns out I have to go with him 1-to-1 because he said it's better if 1 person go at a time instead of 1 whole group?! O_O... Later he sell me away how?! ):

2. My online friend whom I have met briefly for one time for I dunno what (forgot already)... and has not talked to me for YEARS, suddenly msged me if I wanted to play pool with him. LOL WUT?! Of course I rejected him. He wanted to meet badly so I suggested meeting him for a little catch up during natsu matsuri.

Seriously? What's with guys lately. -_-

Just thinking...

2011-07-30T22:28:00.001+08:00

Was wondering...

If not letting go of the past makes you happy, then it's okay right...?

I think I'm PMS-ing real bad now. Tsk.

If I had another chance

2011-07-08T00:50:00.003+08:00

"If we loved again, I swear I will love you right"

-Back to December, Taylor Swift

I wish you can get to know the me now.

What is true love?

2011-07-08T00:44:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I still can't differentiate between infatuation and true love.

Is it possible to even fall in love with someone you have never met physically?

Is it true love when you don't care if the other party is fat, short, etc?

Is it true love when you don't care if the other party has another person in mind? And that you are willing to wait?

Is it true love that you are still unable or unwilling to let go even when the other party does not even think of you for a second? Or perhaps has even... forgotten you?

Or is it all just infatuation?

Cousins for life

2011-07-07T00:33:00.002+08:00

I love Ros. (:

No wonder we are cousins. She is able to understand how I feel and help me along. I love you ros. ^^

Does it kill for you to reply?

感谢

2011-07-06T00:26:00.001+08:00

"能够遇见你,认识你,喜欢你,爱上你

感谢我每滴眼泪..."

Happy Birthday?

2011-07-05T00:38:00.002+08:00

Will you say "Happy Birthday"?

Letting go

2011-07-04T20:21:00.002+08:00

After 4 years, I still haven't fully let go. I've had crushes on the way, but none of those was able to let me fall in love so deeply as to be unable to climb out from it.

I have to admit, I miss you. I have no idea why. You might be a changed person now but I still want to talk to you. I wanna see who you are now. ): Sigh, sometimes I hate how I feel. I keep having feelings for the wrong person.

The more I fight back against my feeling, the more it comes back. Thus, I have decided to let nature take it's course. Perhaps this is a sign? Or perhaps this is all just a joke. Whatever it is... I shall quote Jesslyn, "Sometimes in life, we don't understand why certain things happen. But everything happens for a reason. Therefore, just go along with life and you will eventually know the reason."

I will wait for that day to come. For now, it's agonizing to go through this yearly phase of missing you.

All I want is just a "Hello"

Am I forgotten?

2011-07-03T22:08:00.001+08:00

Please tell me you have not forgotten me.

You're one of the last people I hope to never ever forget me.

True Love

2011-07-03T18:11:00.001+08:00

I shall make this swear to myself.

I swear, that only when someone is able to get 'HIM' out of my 'awesome LOVE (:' category on my MSN list, it is when that someone is my true love.

Kthxbye.

良かったね。

2011-07-03T00:03:00.000+08:00

Glad things ended.

'Cos you really don't understand me well enough.

Everything is in a mess

2011-06-24T22:55:00.002+08:00

How did things get to this stage?

I know I'm not supposed to compare... But it's just so much harder now.

CSC used to be the place where I find my true self, where I am able to express my true self freely without people's judgement. I had my equal chance to speak, I found the place I belonged... I was accepted.

However, now everything seems so foreign. I know I can't expect the same, but it's like a 180 degree change! CSC is no longer the CSC I knew. We now have half the committee which are the "rah rah" type, and scolds vulgarities like there's no tomorrow. Worst of all, we're starting to see signs of conflict already. Sigh, CSC used to be so innocent. We NEVER bad-mouthed anyone. It was our priority to remain as a family.

And you know what? I'm not those rah-rah type. Tbh, I can never get along with the rah-rah type. As friends, maybe yes. As family, never.

God, save me, save us.

Press on, Suzume!

2011-06-08T17:17:00.002+08:00

MORE THAN HALFWAY THROUGH!! 4/6 papers done!! :D

Left with AIMM and ACM. I'm seriously damn sian of studying already. Gahhhh. Why do we need to have so many papers?! Zzz. -_-

Sighh... Studying AIMM now in the living room with Yuki sleeping so soundly on the sofa. T.T I also wanna sleep my life away!! Tsk, I can't believe I'm jealous of my baby now. LOL. My life suddenly seems so sad! Hees. Jkjk.

Haven't touched ACM at ALL. So screwed. Can just go and bang wall and die now. The end of this torture is like so near yet so far! Although it's just 2 more days, but when I look at all the information that has to be squeezed into my tiny and useless brain, it feels like I still have a century to go. ):

Okay okay, enough of ranting. Time to head back to the notes! Press on!!

Ganbatte kudasai, Suzume.

Missing you guys

2011-06-05T01:18:00.002+08:00

Gosh, I'm missing CSCAY10/11 so badly now. ):

I'm allowed to miss you guys right? Cos all of you are awesome friends to me and I never EVER wanna lose you guys... T.T

Even if there'll be another "tpcsc family" with the new AY committee, I hope all of us will never forget AY10/11, whereby wonderful memories were made, friendships were forged. MISSING YOU GUYS SO BADLY!!! ): If I had a time machine, I would reply the past year again and again.

Unforgettable.

Which is right?

2011-06-04T13:13:00.002+08:00

I'm currently addicted to short posts. Doesn't take up most of my time and gets my feelings sorted out.

Which is a better choice?

A committee whereby everything is done quickly and well, but at the expense of the members' welfare. It's sad when everyone starts running in their own pace and not as one. Some run far ahead, not thinking of the ones that are left behind, struggling to catch up.

Or a committee whereby everything can be accomplished, perhaps not as well, but everyone is happy. The committee grow as one and move forward as one.

Personally I prefer the 2nd choice. And I miss it, real badly.

"It's more than just a club, it's a way of life"

If you really love me

2011-06-02T23:15:00.002+08:00

If you really love me, let me go.

I can't handle this anymore. I have term tests coming up, CSC projects on the way, Yuki getting thinner and thinner each day... I've had enough. I know it's my fault that all these happened, but I'm not strong enough to take this anymore.

I guess I've been emitting so much negative energy that even Yuki is affected. It is said that dogs and cats can feel the negative energy 10 times more than us. Imagine your bestfriend walked into the room feeling all miserable. How would you feel? Imagine that feeling x 10. When Yuki slept with me one fine night, I placed her by my side, with our bodies touching each other. She just laid there, with her head on my upper arm. I stroked her like my precious baby... I can't believe I let my mood affect her. She's so innocent, she has done nothing wrong... But yet she's suffering with me.

Gomen ne, Yuki-chan. I love you.

I opened my eyes today

2011-06-01T23:56:00.003+08:00

While I walked home today, I was mesmerized by the after rain mist. It was as if I was in a fairytale, in a far away land... Something I wanted to be in for past few days. It was a little chilly especially when I wore a shirt, shorts and slippers (typical singaporean wear). But with a deep breath of the fresh, cold air, my head was cleared.

All the troubles, all the worry, all the guilt. They disappeared for that moment. I was happy. At that point, I was living for myself. I was able to look at the nature, look at the innocence. I realised how corrupted and disgusting I was... But it didn't matter. All I wanted was to smile at that time and enjoy the present.

Today, my eyes were opened.

Confused

2011-05-28T01:56:00.003+08:00

I thought it was all about passion and the want to learn and grow...

Never did I thought it was about meeting expectations and being the best.

I will leave once my chores are done. I'm probably better off as a Subcom.

2011-03-26T02:27:00.002+08:00

Ai no Imi wo Oshite (Teach me love's meaning) - W

It's a happy song, but it makes me cry sometimes. Not cos of the song, but the background of these 2 girls. They were best friends, they sing in sync, they even look similar. They were labelled as "twins". Their days, were once, "Overflowing with smiles". However, Kago Ai was found smoking underaged. The company punished her by sending her to 1 year of home prison, which was too huge of a punishment in many people's eyes. When Kago Ai came out after that 1 year, she apologized, but was later found smoking and dating older guys (dating was not allowed in their contract), thus her contract was terminated. Because of this, the "twins" are probably not allowed to even have contact with each other anymore. 1 mistake, robbed their smiles.

It makes me think how life can just change in a second, and that the fate of our lives can actually lie on other people's hands. If the company counciled Kago Ai, helped her along, a talent like her would not have been lost. This can apply to us students. We make a mistake like normal humans do... But our future lies in how the school handles us. One wrong move may shatter our dreams, tear apart the bright future we might have had before us.

Bottomline is, avoid trouble. And choose wisely, for the case if we were the adults. I won't want to ruin someone's life either...

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Anyway, since I'm blogging, might as well blog about my results.

I deproved. Not a lot, but yeah, deproved. Lol. I'm quite relieved actually, cos I really thought I'll do super badly this sem. D: So anyway, here are my results:
Animal Anatomy & Physiology - B+ [PHEW. I thought I'll get a C!! Thank god for bell curve. LOL.]
Cell Biology - A
Human Physiology & Immunology - A
Basic Microbiology - A
Communication Skills for Applied Science 2 - Distinction [LOL. JOKE.]

GPA: 3.89

Lesser distinctions this time, but at least I only had one B+. Thank god!! (: Have to buck up next sem if I wanna maintain. Next acad year is gonna be hell. x( Get ready for another rollercoaster ride!!

We're all in this together. (:

Not Caring Anymore

2011-03-05T01:09:00.002+08:00

EXAMS ARE OVER. :D

Had an awesome day with mahjong with CSC in the morning & class BBQ outing in the evening. (: Although I'm feeling kinda tired from all the fun today and crying when I received news of Wander girl going to put to sleep, I suddenly had this urge to blog about what has been driving me crazy recently.

The following is my honest opinions. If you think I'm a total bitch, you could totally unfriend me.

I would say, if I continue thinking any further, I could probably break down anytime and go mad. And I'm serious.

Have you ever felt like you tried making things right but you just don't feel the other party making enough effort? Is it because I did not try hard enough? Everytime I try extra hard, things seem to be alright. The thing is, it's not the real me. I try hard with a ask over my face and it seem to make things right. And one day, just one day when I just want a break from the facade, everything just crumbles again.

The worst thing is, you don't seem to feel like the other party is even trying. So I stopped caring. I just stopped. But it didn't mean I stopped thinking. It haunts be every day and night, even during the exam period. I was on the urge of losing my sanity. Maybe she's trying and maybe she also got sick of trying, who knows? When things started going wrong in the beginning, I was the one who talked to her and things were alright for awhile. Then when it went wrong again, nothing was done. Sure, I asked for advise, and she did too. But... Nothing was done. Like there was no heart to heart talk. We were trying to fix something while we do not know the root of the problem. It's like a blind man trying to fix a puzzle.

Anyway, the main point is, when I stopped caring, for a period of time I was waiting for her to perhaps do something about it. It's not like we excluded her for anything, but it always seem like she isn't there. When we're together in a clique, she just emos. I don't see her trying to bond with the clique when she told me she will try to. So what, am I supposed to do everything for her?

How can you help a person who isn't trying to help herself? Maybe she is - but I don't see/feel it. Wallowing is self-pity is something I hate about people.

I'm still not gonna be the first one to do anything. Maybe she thinks I'm the root of the problem that's why she's not doing anything about it. Maybe. I'm not saying I'm not. But I hate it when people blame stuff on me and expect me to do something about it. As childish as it sounds, why can't she do something about it instead? It's not a problem between me and her anymore, it's between the clique too.

Tbh, I'm enjoying the fact that we are both not doing anything about it. I feel less stressed about it. Other than the fact that concerned people keep asking about the problem, I feel less pressure. But it doesn't mean it doesn't haunt me everyday... Just, lesser.

No point helping someone who isn't helping oneself.

Term test results

2011-01-10T11:56:00.002+08:00

Oh hey, I forgot to blog about my term tests results. Sucky, I have to say. ):

Basic Microbiology - 42.5/50
Human Physiology and Immunology - 39.5/50 (WTH!!)
Animal Anatomy and Physiology - 41.5/50 (I think. Can't rmb... the paper is with my teacher atm)
Cell Biology - 29/50 (-_-)
Communication Skills for Applied Science - 45/60

So I have 2 A, 2 B+ and 1 D+. =33=
Cell Biology is a total disappointment man... Although I kinda expected such results. I didn't really study as hard as I should for it. ): I only have myself to blame. :\ I even scored better in my CSAS la. What logic is that?! Sigh...

This term is gonna be harder. With practical tests, Problem Based Leaning and EXAMS coming up. I guess it ALWAYS get harder as you proceed, right? Hahaha. Next acad year would be worst. I'll have to take 2 CDS and thus, will have like 8 subjects altogether? It's secondary school altogether again! D:

Ah wells, I'll just have to pick up my pace and maintain it. It isn't as hard as it is. And yes, that's what I always say. Somehow it doesn't get into my brain. Haha. I can do it if I really try!! I'm sure if I studied hard enough, I wouldn't have flunk my cell bio. Dang it.

I won't be taking any projects for this term for CSC so I guess I can concentrate fully on my studies!! I have to admit, CSC does NOT affect my studies at all. It's my laziness. I never found a time where I had to do CSC stuff instead of my studies. I always had my CCA mates to count on and if I really needed to do school work, they'll understand. So I can't blame CSC for my poor results this time.

However... I did set a benchmark for myself. If I get more than 2 B+ or B or C+, etc, I'll not re-run for CSC maincom. I guess it's also a way to scare myself cos I DO want to re-run for the sake of my CCA mates. I really do love them. (: I have to work hard for them!! :D Also for myself la, but it's not motivating enough. Haha. XD

I'm hungry, I want to eat.

Happy Belated 2011!

2011-01-10T00:16:00.002+08:00

I'm 10 days late in saying Happy New Year! :D

Let me reflect on 2010 first before setting my new year resolutions. (: 2010 has been the most exciting year for me. I've had the most drastic changes within a year.

In 2010...
I had my 5mths worth of holiday
I worked as a goodie bag packer at $7/hour
I got my O level results, getting raw scores of 11 (R5) and 9 (R4).
I got into my dream course, Veterinary Technology in Temasek Polytechnic (TP)
I got into the 2nd round for TP Scholarship but eventually did not make it to the final round.
I went for TPCSC maincom interview on impulse and got in unexpectedly
I was in an awesome clique with SF, Gail and Jol.
I was given opportunities to organize 2 in-school TPCSC events
I went back to SNGuides Campfire as an alumni
I no longer have to wear uniforms
I wore make up to school one fine day
I got to know that Gail and Jol were leaving for aus, and I had the most bitter cry for the year
I got 3.95 for my GPA of first sem, making me the top 10% of the Applied Science School
I was accepted into the Student Leadership Programme (SLP)
I started reaching home by 12am instead of 7pm due to CCA
I spend 1.5hrs travelling to school instead of 10mins in the past
I fell sick whenever it was term tests/exam periods. Before, I hardly fell sick
I spent more time in school than I spent at home
I didn't go overseas! (for the past 6 years I've always gone overseas once every year)

That pretty much summarized my 2010. Pretty awesome, I have to say. (:

For 2011... My resolutions would be...
1. Maintain my GPA (hopefully)
2. Pay attention in class (so far so good)
3. Start saving money for my Japan trip
4. Manage my time properly
5. Use my laptop less frequently
6. Come home for dinner more often
7. Never hesitate to do the things I wanna do (if it's not illegal or bad)
8. Clean up my room and maintain it
9. Have results satisfying enough for myself to allow myself to re-run for TPCSC maincom
10. Make even more wonderful memories
11. Spend more time with nai
12. Complain less
13. Love more
14. Work harder
15. Don't hate and be forgiving

May all my beloved family and friends have a blessed year ahead. (: I love all of you.

Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu~

"People Always Leave"

2010-11-24T23:08:00.002+08:00

An awesome friend of mine is leaving for aus... Maybe even 2 awesome friends.

I got the news while I was in school today. Tears were like coming and going, but I never cried. I held them back. For the whole day I kept thinking how it will never EVER be the same again... and like what my awesome friend said in her blog, it's too soon, too sudden.

When I got home, the information really sank in and I started crying. I couldn't stop. We haven't even been together for a year and they are leaving already. It's not enough. I'm not satisfied. This is not what I want!

...But I guess, life does not go the way you want it to.

I don't know what to write... I'm just taken back by the whole news. I mean... We were supposed to be in this journey together... I really can't imagine life without my awesome friends. Although it has been merely 7 months of knowing each other, I feel like we've been friends for at least 5 years. We have already forged a bond... I'm so afraid that the bond might disappear once they leave. It's a test of friendship, a test of how much we mean to each other.

I checked how much budget airline tickets are to perth... they were about $300 for a 2 way flight, which SUCKS. What about accomodation and food and shopping? Omg. I really wanna visit them during our hols but... I'm too bloody broke. ):

To the both of you:
I will miss you guys sooooo much. Our fact sharing sessions, our sun-shine-in, our birthday parties, our gay family role play and everything about the both of you. With you guys gone, I guess we will always feel empty... But don't worry, I'm sure with our determination and faith, we will all end up together again, hopefully 2 years later. So remember, study very very hard!! Have determination!! Pay attention during lessons and do all your homework! Whenever you're homesick or just, well, MISS US, remember we'll always be on MSN to talk to! Remember to try going to facebook just to catch up! But studies more important! Facebook 2nd. :D

Despite the fact that I really don't want things to change, for you guys to leave, I honestly support you guys from the bottom of my heart. I'm sure we will meet again. So go ahead and never turn back. I can't bare to see both of you seperated as well so I really hope you two can go together. Have fun there, study hard together and see you guys in 2 years. (:

For now, let's just doubly cherish the times we have as an 'official' clique. We really have to have our clique outing with just the 4 of us. We haven't have that yet! Hahaha. :D

Jiayous and I love you both. * hearts *

Update on my life

2010-11-14T02:20:00.003+08:00

I'm craving to blog for soooooooooooo long now.

I've signed myself up for my jap class! :D I'm kinda proud of myself cos I used my own hard-earned money and found my own way to Bunka! LOL. You may think it's not sth to be proud about but I don't do that often kay! Esp since it's a total of $300 out of my $470 pay! Well, it's an obligation, since I WANT to learn jap.

I read sth like this on my classmate's blog, "When you give up something for love, it becomes an obligation, not a sacrifice." Nicely said. (: It does not apply only to relationships, but also to your passion. In my case, learning jap. :D

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Infatuations.

What are your thoughts about infatuations? I'm sure I've talked about this before... Well, I have to admit, I'm afraid of being in relationships cos I don't want it to be just an infatuation. It'll hurt sooo bad. :\ I see people jump into relationships and jump right out feeling to torn and shattered. Sigh.

At times, I still miss having someone there I can talk to 24/7. Someone more special than a friend.

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School.

I'm having my first quizzes next week. I skipped AFA just to catch up on my sleep and study. It's the end of Saturday and I've yet to start studying. But it's good that I've caught up on my sleep. I desperately needed that sleep. Without it, I can't even study.

My lectures have been meaningless so far. I can't understand anything. ): I'm afraid, oh yes I am. I better get to work soon (meaning tomorrow).

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I just wanna say, if you really have a passion for something, it won't die so easily. Thus, I don't accept excuses such as "my passion just died". You simply don't call that a passion. It's just like an infatuation for something. It comes and go.

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Dance!

I haven't been dancing for too long now. Perhaps I should call every fri/sat night dance night. ;) This way, I can get on to learning my dances I've been procastinating on. :DD

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怎能这世界每个人都爱别人不爱自己?

I like this sentence. It's from Love! by Hebe I think. Learn to love yourself before you start thinking how to love someone else. (:

Oyasumi.

Jap lessons

2010-10-21T17:18:00.002+08:00

I wanna take jap lessons!! ):

I initial plan was to take up Jap as my CDS so that I can sort of take "free" jap lessons in school. But since I took up Business as my cert programme, I won't be able to take jap as any of my CDS for the rest of my school years in TP.

So now, it's time for Plan B, taking proper jap lessons outside. I talked to ZR last night (or early in the morning) about his jap lessons. His was Bunka Language School. Fees are about $300 including GST. I'm planning to use my pay from my night safari job to pay for the fees. So that's settled... Now for the schedule. There was a tuesday lesson from 6.30pm - 9.30pm. It was a good timing since school ends at 4pm for me on tuesday. But since I only had my monday to wednesday timetable, I decided to wait and see if there are any other suitable timings.

I just checked the website a few moments ago and the tuesday lesson was gone! ): Meaning it was probably fully taken up already. Sobs. The only timing left is thursday, since I dunno what time my lessons end yet. :\ If I can't make it on thurs, I'll have to go for weekend lessons which I don't really like. I never liked having lessons on weekends. ): I feel like the weekends are for me to chill and have a break.

Equu's jap school seems cheaper but I missed the aug lessons and I have no idea when they'll start another one. Perhaps I'll call them up to check... perhaps. :\

Crossing my fingers for a nice timetable!! (:

Mdm Wong Shelter

2010-10-01T14:21:00.002+08:00

I have officially found my new idol and role model. She's no other than Mdm Wong.

She sold her flat for the sake of her beloved animals, she goes down the the shelter everyday without any complaints. She prepares food, clean the cages, whether is it under the hot scorching sun or the neverending rain. She ages like anyone else, but does not make that an excuse to go down any less often. No holidays for her, no off-days for her, no enjoying her retirement like any other people her age would be doing. Her retirement is given to her animals. Compare our skin tone and hers... it's an evidence of how long she works under the sun everyday.

It does not end there. She feeds the birds that comes across her shelter, she feeds the rats that chew on the dog food. To her, as long as it's an animal, she will help. A neighbouring shelter is about to close down. She prepares twice the amount of food so that she can split half to the shelter. "My back hurts!" she complains, but she still tirelessly continue preparing pots and pots of rice, pots and pots of meat. She lies newspaper on the floor for the dying kitty to spend it's last moments comfortably. A shelter in JB is calling for help, she helps. What more can you ask from this noble lady?

Yet, an organisation that gets $2million a year... Half gone to paying bills and employees, the other goes to investments. No sharing at all. Do you think Mdm Wong gets $2m a year? No. Even so, she can still provide a much more comfortable space for the animals, NEVER put them to sleep and even have spare to share.

Her self-sacrifising act makes me reflect upon myself. What have I been doing in my past 17 years of life? I claim I love animals... Have I ever sacrifised myself for them? I even claim that I'm willing to die for them. Bullshit, you may say. I agree. I'm willing to spend so much money on Cosplay when these money can go to better use for the animals. Every cent counts for them. Thus, I have decided. After Kagamine Rin, I'm not going to cosplay anymore. Photoshoots, perhaps, but cosplay, no. I love cosplay... but I love animals more. I love shopping, but I love animals more.

For animals, I study hard. For animals, I sacrifise. For animals, I live.

Sem 1.1 results

2010-09-26T01:45:00.002+08:00

I got my sem 1.1 results on Friday.

CSC maincom were supposed to meet earlier at 10am and cry together. LOL. In the end most of the people were late and the sms came at around 11am. XD

I was moving the chairs for MA when the sms came. I received 2 smses. One from TP, another from SF which went, "OMG DID YOU RECEIVE THE SMS ALREADY?" I called her and she nearly told me her results until I told her I haven't seen mine yet. Lol. I'm such a coward. In the end after much bugging, JW and WB helped me see my results first. From their reaction I can already see that I didn't get my GPA 4.0. :\

Nevertheless, I decided to see it for myself and these were my results:
OBC - Distinction
PIPC - A
CSAS - B+ (seriously, screw CSAS. ZZZ. So annoying!!!)
Mst - Distinction
HAP - A
APEL - Pass
Total GPA - 3.95

That CSAS... come poly also need to take eng. ZZZ. It made my 4.0 fly away!!! ): But I kinda expected it already la... My exam for CSAS I had a freakin' B. -_-'' I was very happy with HAP though. (: I had to get around 92/100 for an A which means I did it!! YAYYYY!!! Hahaha.

3 looks so far from 4 la... Hahaha. But nvrmind la, I shall walk the path of shermaine. LOL. Can get into vet science degree I happy liao. :DD Next sem will be even harder, have to pull up my socks for CSAS TWO. Gosh, it's public speaking summore. :o

Side track: I'm very proud of my SF though. Loves!! ^^ She makes my GPA 3.95 seem like a 4.0 already. HAHAHA. I'm just talking rubbish now.

Kay. Oh Gail and Jol actually got the same results! How cute is that?! My kids getting the same results! They should be twins. (:

Yep yep, so far so good. Everyone, let's jiayous for sem 1.2 kay! It'll be hard, but let's 坚持到底！XD Go go TK01!!

4.0 for next sem. LOL.

Disappointed

2010-09-20T16:50:00.002+08:00

I know I didn't know you well enough. Yet, I still fell into your trap so easily. It was fun while it lasted... Like secretly having a crush on someone, feeling so happy when you talk to me, etc.

However, ever since THAT conversation, I knew that I would NEVER fall for someone like you. I have to admit, I was disappointed. Before that you seemed so optimistic and happy about life. A bit of you reminded me of him. But anyway, main point is... you're just not someone for me.

You've lost hope and motivation in life. You blame the world, you say all the grass is rotten. I can't blame you, really. That's who you are. Liking someone is loving his/her imperfections as well. I can't get myself to like that side of you, and thus I now know I don't have those feelings for you anymore.

What I'm truely disappointed is that I expected things out of you. I knew I didn't know you well, yet I allowed myself to expect things out of you and develop feelings for you even though I was still unsure. I'm disappointed in myself. I don't like how I looked like a desperate idiot. I don't like how I lowered myself like that.

Is it just me or is all the guys getting emo these days? From facebook I can already see several guys feeling so miserable about their lives. Why?? You made this decision. Why are you whining like a bitch? If you don't like it, do something about it. Whining won't bring you anywhere. Face it dudes, this is reality. Find courage to face this harsh reality. It's saddening to see you people cry about yourselves. It pains me to see how pathetic you guys are.

Have motivation to find hope.

I'm Sorry

2010-09-11T19:11:00.003+08:00

:\

Is it never too late to be sorry? You see, I have a confession to make.

On Monday, I reached school at like 9.20am-ish and my paper starts at 9.30am. My friends waited for me. There was a 10min reading time before that and it starts exactly on time so I robbed their time of claming down before the paper.

And yeah, I didn't apologise cos by the end of the paper all that was in my mind was "screw the paper". No excuse, but yeah.

A few moments ago I was thinking about it. And I was thinking if I should apologise to them, sincerely. Although it may be close to a week late, I still thought I should apologise. I should, right?

Help me in this. ):

Suki, Suki, Suki~

2010-08-31T13:56:00.001+08:00

Being able to like you is all I want. (:

WKD Project

2010-08-25T18:45:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling guilty.

Well, I wanted to be part of the "World Kindness Day Inter-tertiary Challenge 2010" by SKM. I was so excited because I thought something big could be done to help the animals. That was my initial thought.

However, when we got down to serious business, I thought that helping animals would be the hardest. There were lots of limitations. Like muslims, allergies, etc. Thus, it was the first thing we brushed aside. We then continued with our project planning...

In the end our project was mainly made up of creating awareness. There was a bit of action here and there, like appreciating and encouraging people to be kind. But our main focus was on awareness. I mean like you can't force people to do kind things right?

Today, I was on facebook and read the comments from people about the dog being smashed onto the ground numerous times till it died. A lot of them said that such incidents happen because of lack of education and awareness. At this point, guilt was the only thing I felt.

Even if not much action can be done to help these animals in Singapore directly, awareness and education can be done. Even simple things like posters? Videos? Educational talks in schools? Cruelty happens from lack of respect from people to animals. I'm sure what a lot of animal lovers want from the public is not action to help animals directly, but just basic respect to them. Even if you don't like them, leave them alone. If you leave them alone, they won't bother you. Even if it becomes a nuisance to you, get to the root of the problem (e.g. population of pigeons increase from feeding of pigeons, stop the person that's feeding them) instead of killing the pigeons off.

Sigh... I say I'm an animal lover, yet the first thing I brushed aside was the animal sector. What was I thinking? Seriously, I need to do some reflecting here.

A pity I got "enlightened" too late. Everything's kinda settled already. I just hope there's another chance to make a difference.

Gomenasai.

Natsu Matsuri!

2010-08-22T00:56:00.002+08:00

Finally, Natsu Matsuri came! :D

I did my own hair and make up for the first time! Wasn't exactly what I wanted it to be like but I'll give myself a break since I'm a first-timer. HAHA.

I honestly regret not taking more pictures of the event and uh... myself. LOL. Hey, for memory sake! My first hardwork leh! LOL. Ah wells, at least there are some. (: Facebook saves the day! Hehehe.

I attempted to wear my yukata at home. But I can't seem to wear it neatly. I don't want the japanese people looking at me weird if I go in an untidy yukata. It isn't very respectful either. Thus, I decided to go there and ask them to help me out. Hehe. They are so nice!! They don't charge you for it, PLUS they talk to you in a gentle voice, trying to know more about you while they put ur yukata on for you, etc. If a Singaporean did it she would've been pissed from the no. of people and from the fact that there is no pay from it. HAHA.

Anyway the lady made my yukata look super neat and tidy! Loved it! Arigatou-gozaimasu~ (: Met up with Fiona and bought meji ice cream! $2 but it was kinda nice. :D Went to find Ye Yang after that and stoned at the grass area. I got sick of stoning so I pang seh-ed them and went to find ZR. Then... met up with JP and then with equu with her friends.

I made a new friend! XD I forgot how to spell his name though. Hahaha oops. He's an english and bio teacher in a West Spring. Awesome?! Hahaha. He's nice. He keep fanning me for free. LOL. Seriously, EVERYWHERE we go, he fans while he sweats. LOL. Okay now I feel bad. ;x

Took some pictures (not on my camera though) and went down to the grass area again. Wanted to look for equu's friend I think, but can't find him, I think? LOL. I was feeling quite lost when we went down. Hahaha. XD

The Bon Oburi (sp?) started soon after! :D Probably the best part of the whole event. ^_^ Super awesome. A lot of people joined in for the dance and I love this kind of warm feeling of everyone doing something tgt. (: Ye yang and Fiona didn't join though. Ye yang was having some tummyache. Lol. ;x

Danced till my legs ached, back ached plus blisters on my big toes. ): But it was all worth it! For the fun! :D Hehehe. Equu had to leave halfway through the dance though. ): Sobs, didn't spend much time with her to catch up. Glad she is happy with her new goal. :D Jiayous equu!! ZR joined his other friends after the dance. The rest of us went to search for food hehehe. :D

Almost all the stalls were closed so I just bought an apple juice with VINEGAR. Strong but bearable. (: Oh and we saw Tesun and the rest too! :D Rei and Red were crossdressing. Like whoa, very interesting. Hahahha. XD Pictures on facebook~ :P

Sat down, chat for awhile, ate a hotdog (thanks red! Or whoever that paid for it. ;x) and headed home. The rest went to catch up at some other place I guess. A pity I couldn't join them. I thought I would be hanging out with Fiona and Ye Yang for the whole event so I didn't plan for any chilling out session after the event. Gomen! :s

Overall, it was fun! But it would've been more fun if I didn't stone so much. LOL. I REALLY REGRET NOT TAKING A PICTURE OF MY YUKATA AND MY OBI!! I didn't even take a nice look at it!! ): I was too engrossed with the surroundings I forgot about myself. Omg. Zzz. Nvm, always tell myself, THERE'S ALWAYS ANOTHER CHANCE! Provided I don't die before that or my parents stop allowing me to go for events or Natsu Matsuri stops or I'm not free or whatever stupid reasons. (:

Natsu Matsuri - SUCCESS! :D

Irritated

2010-08-15T23:33:00.002+08:00

I've been irritated a lot lately.

I had some troubles with TPJCG but I'm just too lazy to blog about it. Will talk about something else.

* Bitch mode turned on *

She is sooooooooooooooo fake. Before I start, I'll give her a little benefit of the doubt cos I don't exactly know her that well. All I could say is that she's very attention seeking and obviously she have achieved her goal cos now everyone is putting their attention on her fake actions.

Want to open an animal shelter? Love animals? Do you even know the sacrifices of opening an animal shelter? It would mean devoting the rest of your life to the shelter. Cos there would no longer be any public holidays, sundays, girl's night out for you. Everyday would be spent in the shelter. Say good buy to shopping for nice pretty clothes cos all your money would be spent on the shelter.

A true animal lover do not have to announce to the whole world that you are. Naturally people would know you are and you don't have to personally label yourself as one. Seriously, we get it kay? You love animals. You're so noble. You probably even deserve the nobel prize! We get it so stop using your noisy loud hailer to announce to the whole freakin' world!

* Bitch mode off *

Ah... that was good. On a different note, I get to sleep as long as I want tomorrow!! :D I've been waking up at like 8am for the past 3 mornings and it sucks cos it's supposed to be the weekends where you sleep the whole day!! Hahaha.

Natsu Matsuri in 6 days! I haven't got my hair accessory. Oh gosh.

Let's just hope it's not too disappointing. (:

One last time

2010-08-09T22:52:00.003+08:00

I promise this would be the last weird post. (:

I thought through the night... Perhaps... I don't exactly "like" you after all. Yes, I look forward to conversations with you, I enjoy talking to you, etc.

However, I can't seem to feel my heart pumping with excitement, or immense sadness. It's just happy and sad. That's all to it. They say true love comes after infatuation. I'm not even feeling infatuation now.

I guess you're right, friendship is the best. At least there's only happy and sad. I won't feel my heart tangling up or being torn up. It's great this way. :D

Still, I would like to thank you once again for giving me a hint of how it feels to like someone. Arigatou ne~

Just be friends. (:

Kami-sama

2010-08-08T13:50:00.001+08:00

Kami-sama, please do not let anything awkward happen. Please let things continue the way it is and not backfire.

Onegaishimasu.

DOUBLE POST.

2010-08-07T22:01:00.004+08:00

~~Sorry for the double post. Haha.~~

I just wanted to say a bit more.

I enjoy your company... a lot. I like your smses and the funny things you say.

You're just the best. (:

I'm so paranoid because I care so much. I guess.

I think I really do like you.

2010-08-07T21:21:00.002+08:00

You don't have to like me back. You may regard me as a friend, and have no special meanings behind your words... But all I want is to like you. (:

Behind the shadows, behind your back, observing you as you peek back once in awhile. Thank you for not judging me... Even after I said so many weird things about myself. Haha.

You may be afraid... But I want to be there to support you, to get you out of your fear. I want to be standing beside you, cheering you on. I may not be the one you choose after you overcome your fear, but the times I spend with you is more than enough.

Everytime I see a new conversation popping up from you, a smile is drawn on my face instantly. I'm slowly knowing you more and I'm glad you're willing to tell me more about you without me asking. I feel so honoured, even though you might have done the same to many others.

Just talking to you makes me happy. :D

Ano ne... I think I really do like you.

Holidays and Hormones

2010-08-06T17:12:00.002+08:00

Double H today. Holidays and Hormones.

Let's start with the holidays, shall we? My holidays just started. Actually... it's not exactly a holiday since the exams are right after that. Nevertheless, not going to school = holidays. Haha. Last day of school was a mix of feelings though. During HAP lec, we got back out quizzes and stuff. I was really super depressed cos I scored real bad for a quiz and I got a 0 for one prac quiz cos I forgot to take it. Awesome? Yeah.

I calculated and in order to get an A, I have to score 87/100 for my HAP exams. I can't say it's not possible, but it's definitely very hard to get. In other words, my holidays will be spent studying and studying and more studying.

Because this is my ~~dream~~goal.

I don't like calling it my "dream"... cos dreams are never real. So from now onwards, I'll call it my goal... My goal of being a Vet. (:

Now for hormones.

Basically, my hormones are raging. LOL. I had this ~~weird~~super nice dream about me having a boyfriend. It was really sweet and I was enjoying the feeling. When I woke up, I thought of how nice it would be to have a boyfriend. Well, I also thought of the negative things it'll bring as well. HAHA.

I never thought you listened. I thought I was just a background girl. I enjoy talking to you. I... I look forward to seeing you starting a conversation on MSN. I look forward to you.

Finally, someone else other than HIM is making me look forward. Perhaps I like you? Perhaps. But I dare not say I love you. After all, I barely know you. Because I barely know you, I want to know you more. Who you are and who I am looking forward to.

Although you may break my heart in the future, I would like to say "thank you"... for making me revive the feeling of liking someone again. It has been so so so long.

Okay that was weird.

Yearning

2010-07-25T15:10:00.003+08:00

Here's a post dedicated to Jessica. Dunno if she'll see it but ah wells.

I dare not say I totally understand how you feel. However, I do understand how it feels to yearn something so much and yet, what you get back is just disappointment. For my 10 years in SNGS, I've never gotten the role of Monitor, let alone a Prefect. Even in CCA, I never had a leadership role. I wanted to get into NUSHS so badly that I appealed like an idiot when I got rejected. I wanted to get into DPA for TP so badly that when I slowly read forum posts on people getting in, I felt dizzy. I wanted to get TP scholarship that even weeks after people got their emails, I was still hoping.

That said, I'm slowly trying to take life easy. Happy things happened to me too! I realised when I don't yearn for something so badly, I actually get them. For example, my CCA. I just went for the interview, not expecting much. Plus, everyone else who was interviewing along with me were aiming for posts like president and stuff. I was the only one who said things like treasurer. I was being a joke in the interview. Unexpectedly, I got called up to join the maincom, while the rest did not. Why? They were looking for someone who isn't aiming for power.

Okay enough of me. You have also achieved great things! You entered the JC you wanted, you got into shooting (if you didn't get in you won't even have the chance of joining the EXCO!), and many other things I might not even know!

Thus, like I said, you were not rejected, you just have not found somewhere you truely belong. Perhaps they were looking for someone very "Rah-rah", and you yourself know whether you are. You have potential. I am confident to say that. I'm glad you've decided not to cry over it. It's not wrong to cry though, don't get me wrong. Sometimes it's better to cry it out. When it's time to stop, it's time to stop.

There are many uncovered opportunities for you out there to discover. Keep walking down the path and find your light. Remember, your family and friends will always be there for you. You're not walking alone!!

Love you much Jessica. (:

Ganbatte!

Updates!

2010-07-18T20:13:00.002+08:00

Uwaaaaaaaah.

Have been wanting to blog but was so lazy to. ;x Oops.

Hmm, last week my parents went overseas, leaving me and my bro alone at home for 5 days! It was an awesome experience. My bro and I were like kids let loose. LOL. First day we went to buy Monopoly Deal and play like mad le. We gamed for practically the whole day!! Only did work for like 1hr?! HAHAHA. But it was a Sunday kay so nehmind. :P

We had whatever meals we wanted. KFC, subway, Sushi Tei (WHICH SUCKED). XD But poor Yuki had to stay at home for the whole day while we're at school and most of the time we reach home around evening time. So when we're home she'll go crazy and want us to play with her. Poor girl. ):

As much as it was awesome, I felt the loneliness. Suddenly the whole house was so quiet... No more TV noises since my bro and I don't really watch TV... No more nagging... etc. Thus, I HAVE DECIDED! If I EVER get married in the future, KIDS ARE A MUST! LOLOLOL. If not, I WANT 3 DOGS!! CHOOSE. HAHAHA. I'll die of boredom and loneliness if there's only 2 people in the house lor. :\

Okay. Now for my birthday blog!

I loved it.

Really.

(:

The first person who wished me on my actual day was actually the president of CSC (my CCA)!! Coolios. I felt so acknowledged. Hahaha. Basically the first few people who wished me were all from my CCA LOL. Prolly cos they had an early surprise "birthday party" for me and Keith (whose birthday is on 17th July) on Monday. I didn't even expect it la. Sheesh. I feel so stupid now. LOL.

On Thursday, it was birthday dinner with the clique! :D It was a combined with my birthday and Jol's birthday since we weren't free on her actual day. They had a surprise birthday cake for me too! AND I DIDN'T EXPECT IT AGAIN! Wth right, it's like they went toilet for SOOOOO long and yet I didn't expect anything. =33=...

Anyway, we were sooooo full!! Our main meal was filling enough and the cake was a brownie cake plus there were only 4 of us and we had to finish it so... FATS GALORE!! LOL. I think it's the most filling meal I've ever had.

On my actual day, Gail gave me a present and Jol gave me a card! So sweet right??? :D I feel guilty now cos I didn't give Jol anything for her birthday other than a kiss on her cheek. LOL I'M NOT LESBIAN, MIND YOU!! We played a prank on Gail!! We took out the present from the box and put a magazine inside. Then when we met up, I opened the present up and was like "GAIL WHAT'S THIS?!" LOL. She really thought she put a magazine inside!! Cos she actually REALLY did when she was wrapping the box. She thought she forgot to take it out! She was like apologising like no tmr while me and Shu Feng were laughing non-stop. XDXD Gail is so cute. Hahaha. We told her the truth after that and she was like wth. :P My class sang me a birthday song too! I love K01!! :D:D

Had family dinner at night with nai at Sizzler. (: Nai was damn cute. She took like one piece of the stuff she wanted. LOL. It was a buffet style summore! HAHAHA. I love my nai. :D My bro promised to buy me a Jap bag and my parents want to sponsor me for a polaroid. :D:D Awesome shit! :P

Yesterday, Ros came to deliver me my present. It was a simple black note book and she decorated it with decoden stuff. I loved the simplicity of it!! It's like totally my style. :P Oh and Gail's present was a victorian-style miniature swing thingy. It looks damn hime-ish!! My loved ones know my so much. ^_^

So that marks the end of my birthday celebration. Nothing too elaborate. I like it this way. (: When everything is so simple and sweet. Thanks everyone for making this day so memorable!! Arigatou-gozaimasu!! :D

Otanjoubi omedetou, Suzume. (:

Irritated

2010-07-02T23:38:00.001+08:00

I'm irritated.

I wrote a post about it.

Not gonna post it though.

No time for bitch fights.

Will just let it go.

Watch out though.

I have my limits as well.

Cosplay

2010-06-29T14:54:00.002+08:00

Cosfest is coming up... It'll be my first cosfest I can finally go to for the past 2 years. Lol. I'm also thinking of my cosplay plans... :\

Basically I almost have everything except editing my cape and making my props. I'm just too lazy to start on it. I'm thinking if I should do them bit by bit or chiong them during my 1mth holiday after my exams?

I'm also really afraid for my first debut in cosplay... My costume is not very accurate... Firstly, it's impossible to find the exact same pattern for the uniform. Secondly, my blazer has this line across which spoils the whole thing. :\ Other than that it's perfect. Sigh. I'll consult a few of my cosplay friends before going forward ba.

Rawrr. I need to practise how to put on my fake lashes too!! Omg I'm getting nervous now. Lol. XD Okay chill. Need. To. Finish. Costume. First.

Kosupure

Results and CCA

2010-06-26T16:34:00.002+08:00

The past week has been crazy. CRAAAAAAAAZY.

Reaching home at 12am for the past 3 days, getting heart attacks when receiving back term tests results, getting ready for AGM...!!!

I had AGM rehearsal for CSC on wednesday. Kept practising the hand sign which made everything so late. However, it was fun. I didn't feel a single dread. Usually I would when things end late. But somehow I didn't. I guess it's cos CSC people are real nice and funny. (: I'm looking forward to making more nice memories with them. Whether is it good or bad, cos like what Shermaine (our ex-president) said, memories are like rainbows. They are made up of rain and sun, which is our bad and good memories respectively. I want to create CSC rainbows in my heart. :D

Hehe so cheesy. XD Oh, did I mention? I had sore throat on Tuesday, which carried forward to Wednesday, which sucked. Then it went on to Thursday... not forgetting the fact that it worsened, and finally to Friday, the day I got a slight fever. It's not surprising though, considering the fact that I'm always in and out of cold LTs and reaching home at 12am, only sleeping at 1+am cos of games (oops). LOL.

Okay anyway, Thursday had lessons from 9am to 6pm. Had dinner with Shu Feng (DUH.) and I went for ASC AGM while Shu Feng went to help the rest for the door gifts first. AGM ended quite fast and we headed to the clubroom to look for the rest. Did the "banner" with Shu Feng first and then the door gifts. We were having so much fun that we totally lost track of time. When I finally decided to check my watch, it was 11.05pm. The last train was 11.26pm. Both me and Shu Feng was like OMGWTF! We rushed out of school and 23 reached just when we were about to arrive at the bus stop! Lucky!!

When we reached the interchange, we saw a train reaching the station. We ran with all our might but missed it. We thought we missed the last train and was super depressed. Just then, there was an announcement saying that the last train is arriving. Once again, we rushed all the way to the platform and caught the last train. You know what's the most unlucky part? Both of our phone's batteries were flat. I couldn't contact my parents when I reached Tampines to fetch me at Paya Lebar. Before that when I was in school I used Shu Feng's phone (before it died) to call home to tell them that I'll call again when I reach Tampines so that they could fetch me. It died in Tampines so I couldn't contact home. Lol.

Alighted at Paya Lebar and checked it my parents came. They didn't. I was tired and lazy so I decided to just cab home. Luckily Shu Feng lent me $15 just in case. Hahaha. Thanks! :D

How unlucky can you get man... =33=

Friday! AGM day!! Helped out right after lessons. The LT was accidentally used by someone else so we couldn't go in to deco the LT. But it's okay, everything was settled on time in the end. Shu Feng was super nice lolol. She helped me buy panadol for my fever and fill my water bottle even though I was just plain lazy. LOL. OOPS!! XDXD

AGM turned out to be awesome. Just that we made one major mistake on the logistics side. Felt damn guilty... The problem was totally overlooked. ): Hais... But mistakes are made and learnt from. Nothing is perfect.

I felt more bonded with CSC when everything was over. I also felt that I've learnt more. Learning day by day, changing for the better day by day. Arigatou, CSC. (:

-------------------------

Now for term tests results.

CSAS - 20/25 (A)
OBC - 48/50 (A)
Math & Stat - 44/50 (A)
HAP - 42/50 (A)
PIPC - 37.5/50 (B+)

HAP was by sheer luck. Lol. PIPC marks were expected already cos of some stupid mistakes. Made a lot of careless as well. :\ PIPC is so gonna pull me down. I failed one of my tut pop quiz before as well. Sigh...

Other than that everything else was great. OBC was like LOL! Hahaha. It doesn't stop here though. I cannot be complacent. Every test, quiz and exam is different. Doesn't mean you can do well now that you will do well again the next round. Hard work and focus is all it takes. I'm not what people say - smart. All I have to say is that when you decide to do something, don't look back and focus. Concentration is very important. I'm glad I have a friend like Shu Feng cos we have common goals and we can (sort of. LOL!) focus and really study when we say we want to. We have the same habits so we can takle them together. Once again, thank you Shu Feng! We can do this together ya! Althouh I know you don't read my blog. LOL. Anyway, we still have our quizes and sem exam to pull up our Bs!! :D Isshou ni ganbare!

Oops I haven't done my learning journal. ;x Gtg!

Being sick is NOT fun.

Trolls

2010-06-22T22:31:00.003+08:00

You are a grown man. For god's sake, ACT LIKE ONE. Furthermore, you have a kid. You hide behind that pathetic screen of yours to attack an innocent party. One who sacrifices her all for the sake of animals. Yet you, just to satisfy that troll need in your messed up mind, went ahead to affect their reputation.

Seriously, the internet has bred coward people. They take advantage of the fact that they do not have to reveal their real identity to bring people down. They are simply detestable, disgusting and dung.

However, I have to admit. Things I say online to defend, whether is it myself or others, I will probably never say in real life. The internet gives me the time to think through my thoughts before commenting. Although many a times I comment without much thought due to my anger. In real life, when I start being angry, my voice would shiver and I will cry. Seriously.

Hais... I guess it's a two-sided thing as well ba.

--------------------

Today. Was a good day. Till I saw that comment, which pissed me off real bad. Hais.

Got back my OBC term test today. I dunno if I should put my marks here. The reason why I wanna put my results here is so that if I EVER fall in the near future, I have this little blog to prove that I CAN DO IT BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO. To make me feel stupid and yet motivated. Does that even make sense?!

Hmm... I'll just wait for my other results and post them altogether. HAP and PIPC would moderate things. LOL. XD

Anyway, FINALLY went to MWS!! :D Omg I miss the dogs soooooooooooooo much. Pixie opened up much more this time round. She's such an attention seeker now hahaha. At least not as much as Ah Lian in the past. :P

Helped with the food as usual. When we went to the other side of the shelter, something funny happened. I think because of that I laughed so much that I have a sore throat now. Shu Feng and I wanted to enter the cage with the younger mongrels, under a year old I guess. I forgot who went in first but ended up Shu Feng and one of the dogs were outside. LOL. The main gate was closed so they were just along the mini "corridor". When Shu Feng attempted to bring the dog in, another one went out! Thus there were 2 outside now. I opened the door slightly and another dog inside was play-biting one of the dogs outside so I stupidly thought that it would lure the outside dog in. In the end the one inside went out. 3 outside now. Note: During the whole time Shu Feng and I were laughing like nobody's business. Only Dylan-dog, the mild and sweet one stayed inside. The other 3 were like mad dogs outside. Both of us slowly pushed them back in and we decided to head back and think twice about entering that cage again. Hahahaha. XDXD

Okay I SHOULD start my tutorials now. Hahaha. Oops. Seeya! (:

Say no to trolls.

MOY + school reopen

2010-06-21T23:18:00.002+08:00

Let's start from MOY shall we?

Ros came as my ojousama in our last minute decision. I lent her my prom dress, which is a hime loli, for her to wear. SHE LOOKS REALLY CUTE IN IT!! It makes her look so chibi and oh-so-kawaii~ XD It's really AWWWness. Hehe.

Basically I went as a butler with animal morphing powers. My bunny ears failed but I managed to buy white neko mimi at the event itself. It looked much better although I still looked fugly. LOL.

JCG people were hanging out with themselves at first but they started trying to get me into their circle after awhile. As many of you know, I'm really shy when you first meet me. Thus, it's hard for me to open up right after I just met the whole bunch of butlers. Hahaha. But well, majority of them are nice. (: Me like.

When ros and I decided to start walking around the small area to take pictures, we were asked to have our photos taken. Yes. Wth right? We had an impromptu posing and when one photog started shooting, others started coming in. I was like )@(@$@$*(&(@$!!! STOP!! I wasn't even prepared for that! My make up as very simple and it wasn't even presentable for photos. I was basically overwhelmed. So as ros. I didn't even prepare any poses and practise my smiles. My make up was fading off cos it was so hot my sweat was wiping them off away. ):

That was not all. We were stopped several times. Perhaps more than 5 times? We only spent less than 3hrs there. PLUS, we were just random people. I believe it's cos of my ojousama. :P She's super kawaii lor. I didn't even have any flashy weapons like the rest. I only had pathetic neko mimis and a pair of super pathetic bells. Lol. Even with very light make up, ros looked nice! AWW!! THE MORE I THINK OF IT THE MORE YURI I GET. OH NO.

Without ros I think I would just be emo-ing at one corner. Hahaha. XD Thanks ros for being there!! :D Anyway I just saw pics of me and ros on sgcafe. It's wtf. I looked dark and tired. My make up is horrible. Simple horrible. The next time I'm cosplaying I'm sooooo going for a more flawless look for more elaborate eye make up. I'm sorry cos I honestly wasn't prepared to have my photos taken so I just put on make up to be presentable. ):

I requested the photogs to remove any pics with me or ros already. Both of us are not satisfied with the results so... as ros calls it, we have to "clear up the mess". All in all, although it was a failed "cosplay", I felt that it was a refreshing experience. Mmm... Maybe thrilling? Haha cos we don't know when we would be stopped for a picture. It was scary. ._.''

Talking about scary, both of us believed that the reason behind we were stopped so many times was probably because of the curse of the black ribbon.

1. While ros was walking down from her home, she saw a black ribbon on the floor and remembered that she had to take a piece of black ribbon for me.
2. During the event, a cosplayer dropped a sash which was dark-coloured. It's almost like a ribbon in a way.
3. Another cosplayer dropped her black tie. Almost like a ribbon as well.

2 and 3 both occured right in front of us. Plus, after 2 happened, a photog asked for our picture. We're cursed.

Lolol. Okay that's all ba. (: It's fun cosplaying with ros cos we get to do yuri shots. LOL. Not really la. XD The most we did was hug. Hahaha.

--------------------

School reopened today. It was okay. Got back my CSAS term test paper. I made stupid mistakes. I still got a borderline A, 20/25 but it's not good living on the line. :\ I better stop counting on my lady luck.

After school went as a super extra person for some CSC stuff and went to watch Toy Story 3 with shu feng. It was a heart attack race. CSC stuff dragged for longer than we expected so we were unable to catch the 3.30pm slot at tampines. Shu Feng was actually queueing already but when I was looking for KFC, I realised it never existed in tampines mall. -_-'' Called Shu Feng and she said the queue was long and the tickets were selling fast. Thus, we decided to change a venue. Debated over a few cinemas, decided to go to cineleisure. Checked the time slot and it was 4.30pm. Rushed like a mad dog cos we only had half an hour left to travel there cos of our debating.

On the way there, we kept thinking of other places we could go which was on the way. Realised we could catch the 4.30pm slot at marine square which was nearer so we headed there instead. Rushed like no tomorrow again and once again I went to buy KFC which Shu Feng went to buy tickets. I ordered popcorn chicken and realised there was no such meal to it. I was damn sad la. So I went to get bubble tea as well. RUSHED UP AGAIN and finally, we entered the cinema. Phew.

Toy story 3 turned out really good. Just that at the front part they were talking a bit on what happened during toy story 2 so I was a bit confused then. Time to go rent the DVD. XD The show's hilarious. Worth checking out if you havent. (:

Yep that's all. My life's pretty fun so far. I hope it continues. :D Tiring... yet joyful. I love life.

Yes, my lady.

Working + cosplay!

2010-06-16T23:07:00.002+08:00

Ne ne, guess what! I finally realised my dream of being a cashier! XD

I "worked" at a ban mian stall for 1.5hrs. LOL. It was super fun~ My pay was a bowl of ban mian plus a lot of ikan bilis. Lol sorry dunno how to spell. ;x I wanna go back again!! :D

My other dream of cosplaying is about to come true too! I'm gonna be a "butler" at MOY with JCG! Bought my vest today at $25. Very expensive considering the store was at Bugis street. :\ Maaa... I got everything else anyway. Which is good. (: I just need to find a weapon cos we're going as combat butlers hahaha.

MOY is this Sunday so if you're free go down and support kay!!

Yay~

PISSED.

2010-06-15T00:50:00.002+08:00

ARGHHH.

If you dunno anything just SHUT UP. You don't have to rub salt into my wounds right?! I'm already heart broken enough. Zzz.

I just saw a picture of AMK SNG on fb and I was totally stunned. They tore down the whole building!! Omg my heart was really broken.

Yet, this girl on fb was like "No big deal what". I have been to that school for 10 whole years. I pratically grew up there. I'm attached to that school. You say you're also attached to your pri and sec school and say that there's nothing you can do even if they tore down the building.

YES. There's NOTHING you can do. But is feeling heart broken an action? It's the release of hormones which stimulates your emotions. It's not as if I have full control over it. If you are just here to rub the enormous amount of salt into my wound, then you're not welcomed. Just go away, I don't need your comments.

When you realise you're wrong, don't go back crying to your oh-mighty-holy lord. That's just running away from reality. If you're a true christian, you wouldn't be doing this to me. Fake ugly faces.

Stfu and go away.

300th post!

2010-06-11T16:50:00.003+08:00

Yay! This is my 300th post! :D

Hahaha. Anyway, went for LTC for on wed and thurs. Probably the slakest camp I've ever gone to. Lol.

I shall take back my preconceptions of dragon boating. I thought it'll be tough and tiring and really irky but it turned out to be VERY fun!! Furthermore the boat I was in had a strategy and were with the sports club people so we won 2/3 of the mini-races! The third race was because we suddenly stopped for I dunno what reason so we stoned for awhile HAHAHA. I don't mind dragon boating again! (:

Seriously, I cannot be with Shu Feng for too long. I'll get sian of her and she'll get sian of me. HAHA. I was in one of the moods whereby you really have nothing to talk about already hahaha. XD

Ah wells~ I better start on my hmk today cos I really have no more free time already. Hahaha. I woke up at like 4pm today. ;x OOPS. Nai is coming over later to stay for about a week I guess? Oh and I might be getting a new bed frame! YAYY. ^_^

Okay I gtg now. Fetching nai. (: Ja ne!

CSC is for love.

Busy!

2010-06-07T15:50:00.003+08:00

I finally have a free day to stay at home and start doing the things I wanna do. Slept till 2.30pm today. Hurrhurr. Have been deprived of sleep for quite a long time. XD

Let's do some updating again! :D

Friday:
Met Shu Feng in the morning to volunteer at SPCA. I was late. ;x But there were people later than me. Hehe. Helped pack goodie bags and I think I hurt my back. I'm soooo weak. Zzz. I'm gonna die when I take NAPFA when I enter year 3. ): I LOATHE exercising!! Sigh...

At 1.15pm, we left and headed to school. Planned to go on budget since I'm low on cash but in the end that Lim Shu Feng wanted to have her value lunch and I allowed temptation to draw me in. ): With Lim Shu Feng, my veggie and low-fat diet can never be achieved. By the time I graduate, I'll prolly be a fat-assed bitch who failed NAPFA so many times that I get exempted. :D

Took bus to school... went to CSC clubroom and met a few fellow maincoms. (: They are all nice people. ^_^ Junwei lent us his monopoly deal cards to play while they went to run some errands. Omg that game is damn fun. I wanna buy!! Can play when you're really bored and it's quite handy to bring around! So gonna save up for it.

Went for CSC meeting, was quite okay... Tbh I'm quite scared but at the same time I'm trying to stay calm cos the moment I panick, everything screws up. So I guess... it's so far so good. Hahaha. Ate pizza for dinner and discussed a few stuff at the same time.

Played games afterwhich! :D It was pretty fun hahaha. The first game was answer questions inside the balloon. Mine was like asking me what was my 3 goals in life. I gave stupid questions so let's not talk about it. Shu Feng's one was the weirdest thing she has ever done and I shouted out loud that she showed me her panties. Hurrhurr. There goes her nice reputation. Oh wait, she didn't have one to begin with. LOL. XD

Second game was like Bingo. Just that we only needed to form one line. How? By playing pictionary. If we guess the word correctly, the box is our team's. My team won! Hahaha. The prize was chips, my fav flavour summore!! Whee! Lol, but it's to be shared la. (: Not so selfish one kay! Hehe.

Ended the games like around 10+ I think? Reached Bishan around 11.45pm. Family met me there to have supper and after 5min I started getting grouchy cos I was really tired. I'm such a bitch.

Saturday:

Went out with jes and jac! YAY! Love them to bits. It was quite hilarious. Before I left home, jac said she was gonna be late so I told her to tell jes to wait at home first and we'll leave around the same time so that we don't waste time waiting for each other. So I stayed home to do some make up and in the end I looked like a monster but it was already 10min past the time I wanted to leave home so I just rushed out. Eew. Hahaha. In the end I was the earliest, followed by jac and then jes who left home super late. LOL.

Headed to Daiso first! MY FAVOURITE SHOPPING PLACE!! But hey, I only spend like I think $14 kay. Still okay lor. Bought a photoframe and some deco stuff to deco it. Hehe. (: Satisfied with my purchase.

Went to PLC/Pet Safari which was beside Daiso and I spent $9.10 to buy dog treats for Yuki and Charlie. It's from US Bakery and if I'm not wrong I think they started online first. Cool stuff. :D

Hopped to the arcade which was a few steps away to play some games. Played basketball, which I failed miserably. I was kicked out at the first stage while jes and jac could play till the 2nd stage! I suck a sports. Don't blame me. Played DDR!! Omg, when was the last time I played that I wonder... I failed miserably again hahaha but it was still fun. (: Played para para and whoo! I think I did better in para para than in DDR lor, although I looked stupid. Hahahahahaha. I think jac wanted to play but she paiseh lor. =33= Jac, next time just play if you want to kay? HAHA! XD Play air hockey after that. Jac damn pro la. She was like super violent LOL. Hahaha. Next time play with her must train my muscles and do warm up first. Hehe!

In the end we were argueing who pay for what then we left with this $1 which no one wanted to take so we spent it on this sweet game and got 4 sweets! Hehe, not bad la. XD Spent all our money for arcade already so we went off to shop for clothes! For me it's just window shopping cos I ran out of cash. XD Hehe. I wants NETS!! Zzz. Ah wells. Anyway I didn't see anything I fancied so it was still okay. (:

By the time we finished window shopping it was 6+ already so we decided to leave. DIDN'T TAKE ANY PICTURES!! WHYYYYYYY. Oh man... ): Nevermind, it was nice catching up with my darlings! :D Meet up soon! Your september hols kay! Eh wait, lemme check my diary first. Eh... I think I having my exams then. Oops! 6th - 20th sep are my exams. ): Sad. Hopefully, somehow, after my exams perhaps? :\

Met my family at Bugis and we went to my cousin's hse to celebrate her 21st birthday. It was super awesome. There was like catered food which tasted quite good and there was a theme to the party! It was some grandparent theme and my cousin's friends all came in ahma and ahgong outfits! One even put powder on her hair! Haha! I want a 21st Birthday party to be this awesome too!

Happy 21st Birthday Xiang Ting! :D

Sunday:

Woke up close to 8am and was late. Was supposed to reach Metta at like 8.45am but reached at 9.15am. Damn sian. Missed the stupid bus and was drenched in the rain. ): At least there was a free shuttle bus service. If not I would not know how to go there. Hahaha.

Helped MWS at their items store. Business was not bad considering the crowd and the items we had. Our items were mainly old stuff which people do not want anymore. But I guess the prices attracted the customers cos it was really cheap! Made a new friend called Jiaqi (HOLIDAY!) hahaha. XD Nice knowing her. (: If not I would have been sooooo bored. Bought $15 worth of tickets. Spent $5 on food and the rest on the booth. Bought the white macdonalds "The Dog" cushion, a pink pin thingy and a multi-purpose, 3-in-1, measuring tape cum screw driver cum flashlight. All these for $9 only but I gave them $10 cos I wouldn't know what to do with the remaining $1. Haha. Entered myself into a lucky draw but didn't win since no one contacted me. ): Anyway I don't even know what's the prizes. Haha!

Left at around 2pm? Went home to nap for awhile before heading out again to Vanessa's hse for patrol BBQ! :D Met gwyneth at AMK first. I bought a bottle of coke while she bought subway cookies and we split the costs to bring it over. The bus went past SNG and god, it was so nostalgic and the worst thing is it was fenced up for renovation so it was even more heart wrenching. Gwyneth said that half of the building is torn down already but the bus went past the other half so I didn't get to see the torn down part. I think if I saw it I probably would have cried. I miss SNG... I spent 10 years there... This is why I cried while watching the latest naruto ep also cos Pain wiped out the whole Konoha. Although SNG is like smaller scale but it's still... very very heartpain nia... ):

Okay anyway, met up with the flowerpeckers!! Aww I missed them loads. They've bonded much more and have grown up! Hahaha I feel so old. BBQ-ed sausages, fishballs, satays, chicken wings and prawns. Most of them were like chao da so I think I'm gonna get cancer soon. HAHA. The fire was slowly going off so we wanted to put in more charcoal. In the end the food all toppled over and all the chicken wings that we were painstackingly trying to cook all went to waste! It was like DAMN!! Sian, but the 2nd fire we built up was so much better and the food cooked so much faster. :D

After the food was the games! We played a game whereby we mixed drinks together and rolled a dice to see how much we had to drink. Hahaha. It was pretty fun and the some drinks were not bad! XD Ended off with a yam-seng with the sparkling juice that Vanessa bought. (: Thank you to Vanessa's parents for letting us BBQ at your house! Thank you flowerpeckers for another wonderful memory and it was nice catching up with you guys! To Pei Ying and Adeline, jiayous for your Os this year! I know you guys can do much better than me. Do as well as your ex-PL, gwyneth and do flowerpeck proud! Love you, flowerpeckers! To gwyneth, it was soooo nice catching up with you!! I hope this would not be our last patrol outing! Hope to see all of you at campfire!! ^_^

Yep. That's all. Phew. I better start on my work now hahaha. Update some time soon again!

Matta ne! (:

Holidays!! :D

2010-06-03T20:41:00.000+08:00

Initially I wanted to post a rant post but...

IT'S THE HOLIDAYS SO LETS NOT SPOIL THE MOOD. :D

Hahaha. Shall not talk about how the papers are either!! Lolol. =33= Results will show anyway. (:

Okay so.... Paper ended at 10am today (WOOTS!). Went out with about half the class to cineleisure to have lunch at some jap fast food restaurant. They went to watch movie while me and shu feng left first. Shu feng went out with her other group of friends while I headed home. Oh wait, on the way to the MRT, we were asked to donate and I donated all the money I had left, which was like what, 50c. -_- I'm officially broke. I need to take money out of my savings or I'll have no lunch tmr. ):

Shu Feng went to take MRT while I went to look for my 162 since it stops right outside my hse. Walked one bus stop and found it! :D I had to take 162M cos 162 only goes to the bus terminal. And then and then a few minutes later 162 came and I was so happy that I forgot I can't talk that bus. I'm not familiar with the city area so I didn't even know I was going the wrong way till the bus uncle told me it was the last stop already. Omg.

I alighted and only then did I realise my mistake. -_-'' Waste my time. 162 came again and it was the SAME UNCLE. ARGHHHH SO EMBARRASSING. He recognises me cos I was the only one who alighted AND boarded!! Zzz. He asked me if I boarded towards the wrong way. I told him I wanted to take 162M and he told me that 162M only operates at night. Gahhh. I was finally on the right direction home and made it home safely. ._.''

...

Hmm... It's the hols now so I have several things I wanna do before school reopens:

1. Finish all homework.
2. CSAS project.
3. Finish learning Miku Miku Ni Shite Ageru dance.
4. Start learning Arigatou Ookiku Kansha dance.
5. Go to MWS on one of the weekends when they shower the dogs.
6. Revive PetsDream once again (LOL).
7. Go out with Jac and Jes.

I only have 2wks holidays so I better make full use of my time! I need to catch up on my sleep first! XD

...

Appeal to help:

1. Sponsor of cat food (to feed cats). The food is $50 per 18kg worth of cat food. Partial sponsor is welcomed as well.
2. Cat feeder at AMK ave 4 area. The regular cat feeder passed away.

Arigatou~

Flashmob @ Changi Airport!

2010-06-03T00:03:00.002+08:00

I'm a proud participant of this flashmob!

From this flashmob, I received...

1. Loads of fun.
2. Unforgettable memories with Jac.
3. $90 hard cold cash.
4. Free meal from popeyes (includes drinks, 2pcs chicken, mashed pototoes, biscuit).

Awesome shitz?!

Term tests

2010-06-02T00:26:00.002+08:00

I wanna sleep but I wanna blog too...

A little update before I go sleep without studying for math test tmr. LOL. I'll study in the morning, I promise. ;x

Monday was PIPC and CSAS. PIPC was a killer paper while CSAS was still okay. Hais... I hope I can SOMEHOW get 80%. LOL. Fat hope.

Studied at Paya Lebar macs with shu feng. Spent most of the time stoning/talking/irritating shu feng. When I'm stressed I love irritating people. Hurrhurr. ^^'' I hate studying for HAP... It's weird cos I thought vet tech people should love HAP but I heard from a senior that people from vet tech don't really like HAP... Hmm...

Studied till like 9.45pm. Went home, PLAYED (like omfg) and finally settled down to study till 1.30am. It's weird. I can no longer stay up late. When I was in sec school I can stay up till 2+ and wake up at 6.30am and go to school. I think it's because I sleep during lessons HAHA. I'm a much more guai-er girl in poly kay...

Tuesday was HAP. I screwed up a few parts. * sigh * It was in the middle of an "ok" paper and a "killer" paper. At least the MCQs were alright HAHA! XD Studied with shu feng again but at changi airport macs this time. Used laptop for 1hr before studying hahaha. Then after 1hr of rubbish studying, we were chased out of a not crowded macs... which was actually okay cos I get to go home earlier and sleep more HEHE. I slept till like 9pm to have my dinner. ;x

I haven't touched my book at all since I reached home. Eck. But I'm going study room tmr morning since math paper starts at 12pm so I guess I can make up for the time lost... right? :s

On thurs it's my last paper OBC! AFTER THAT IT'S OFFICIALLY MY HOLS!! YAY!! :D

Oh and I received an email to go for the interview for tp scholarship. I'm kinda freaking out for it cos in the email it was like SOOOOO important that they allow LOA for you JUST to make you go for the interview no matter what. :o

I hope they are not scary people. ): I need some advice for interviews. I suck at them. -_-''

I live in a little comfy world called "self-denial".

Term test next week!

2010-05-28T13:10:00.003+08:00

What am I doing here, blogging, when my term tests are next week?!

Hahaha. Just wanted to update my life. (:

Monday:

Went for AM and AE interview for JCG. It took so freaking long and it doesn't help that I didn't have my dinner before that. D: AM interview was crazy. They were like "Aww, don't be so tensed up! We won't bite!" Immediately after they said that they gave me the we-wont-bite-but-we-will-eat-you-up look. ._.''

AE interview was far more less formal. Enjoyed their company and when they say they don't bite, they meant it. :P I was looking forward to working with them, honestly.

Da-baoed fillet-o-fish for dinner. Yumyum~ Hahaha okay nth much le. -_-

Tuesday:

Animal shelter day! Only me, shu feng, kimberley, shun yi and chin went. It was still fun nevertheless.

Ah lian is cfm adopted.
Lucy went to a fosterer's home.
Belle was brought to a potential adopter's home. We witnessed the historical moment! XD It felt so heartwarming. (: Anyway, updates from facebook said that she's cfm adopted too!

Have a good life, ahlian and belle! ^_^

Wednesday:

Got back math & stat and PIPC results.

Math & Stat: 25/25. LOL. Probably my one and only time. XD
PIPC: 22.5/25. Chem leh! Even in sec sch also cannot get this kind of results lor. Lolol. But most of the content were from sec sch so probably my one and only time again. =33=

Went for CSC maincom interview which lasted for like 1hr plus. They interviewed 4 people in a go which was why it lasted for so long. The 3 other people were like aiming for posts like President and Vice president. I'm like the only one who goes for posts like Treasurer cos I love math. Stupid.

Thursday:

Long day!! 9am - 6pm with only ONE HOUR BREAK! Plus, during that break, at the last 20mins I checked my phone and I was supposed to meet the teacher-in-charge for an informal second interview. Basically she just double checked if I was really keen in joining and if I was willing to commit. Hahaha she's cute. XD

Got back OBC results too.

23/25. Shu Feng kept going on about how I was late for 15min for a 30min test and I could still get 23/25. Silly Shu Feng, all her decuctions were like from carless mistakes lah! Tsk tsk tsk.

Got back some HAP tut stuff as well.

Mindmap - B grade. You see, paying thousands of dollars for MindChamps does not work. I demand for a refund.
Teamwork mahjong paper thingy - 14/18. Nothing to say. ._.

Sigh... Everything is good so far other than HAP. Idiot. I really have to lock myself up and start squeezing in all the stupid things for HAP already. :\

On and in the evening I received a call from Jesslyn (from CSC) that I got into the maincom for CSC. Hahaha. Joke sia. Like that also can get in. They posted me as their assistant quarter master. I better ask them during next friday's meeting what I have to do exactly. Shu Feng is the assistant treasurer. She wanted my post and I sort of "wanted" her post. Hahaha. But she said that the others felt that she was more suitable as a treasurer so... yeah. Anyway I just hope I don't get fired. -_-

Today:

Checked my email and I got into AE subcom as well. However, I sort of promised the teacher-in-charge of CSC and myself that if I got into CSC maincom and AE/AM subcom, I would choose CSC over them cos it's more meaningful. It's a pity but I won't regret. Helping others is more important than feeding my own interests. Plus, I can still feed my own interests as I'm still a part of JCG! :D

Okay I have to finish studying my CSAS and start on my other subjects or I'm seriously dead. AND SHIT. I JUST REALISED I'M SUPPOSED TO DO SOME SURVEY THING BEFORE 12NOON AND NOW IT'S AFTER 12NOON LE. Uh oh, crap.

Life is great. For now.

School Life

2010-05-21T23:28:00.003+08:00

School has been busy but manageable at the same time.

Have been going to the shelter every week other than CCN day week. Brough Yuki to school on that day. Was an awesome, unforgettable experience with yuki-chan. She even has a new bf, Zayden! Hahaha. He's Shu Feng's Shih Tzu. (:

Anyway, completed 4 quizzes so far...

Math and Stats - Quite okay.
HAP - Bad. I got a freakin 21.5/30 while others can get like up to 26.5/30. Good job to them though! I'm just not satisfied with myself. Not that I'm really comparing... But I just want a decent 80%. :\ My marks are only 70% and the previous pop quiz I got like what, 6/9. -_- Feeling so screwed.
OBC - Was late for like 5-10min for the 30min quiz LOL. Managed to finish and check and stone though. It was okay too. Hope have no careless mistakes.
PIPC - Felt okay but have quite a few careless already.

That marks the end of my GPA 4.0. ): Really disappointed with myself. Well, there are the term tests coming so I better make it up then. Have to start studying the moment I have time.

CCA hasn't officially started yet though. Shu Feng wasn't able to persuade me to join CSC maincom so I've done nothing for CSC at the moment haha. As for JCG, I went for their AGM, signed up for 2 subcoms and I'm going for the flower arrangement exhibition tomorrow. It was quite messed up though. Cos I initially had performance, flower arrangement and subcom interviews all in one day. Pushed back the interviews and now I'm going straight for the flower arrangement after the performance. Which means no lunch for me. ):

I think I've already pissed the subcom leader of A/E already hahaha. Cos I signed up for A/E subcom and the flower arrangement is under there. The guy under her didnt relay the msg to me to collect the tickets from her in the morning so there were some chaos. Plus, I kept bugging her like the arrangements for sat cos they never gave me a solid reply. Zzz. But she's nice though. (:

Hopefully I can join A/M hahaha. Oh did I mention? Fiona and Ye Yang are in JCG too! Yayness. Now I'm no longer a loner in JCG. :D

...

Today me and Shu Feng went to watch The Back-up Plan. Hilarious and a bit sick. Lol. They made the sick parts hilarious too though. Worth the money. (: And Shu Feng was like "Maximum 1 movie per month"... I watch movies like twice a year can. Lol I'm so sad. XD

Oh oh and guess what we had for dinner! (we snuck the food in and we were giggling while eating our food secretly. XD)

Me - Bubble tea, Takopachi, Sushi.
Shu Feng - Bubble tea, Takopachi, Sushi, PORK.

HAHA. :P

The takopachi smell was quite strong but it still cant beat bringing lou mai kai inside. That's pure ownage.

Now my $10 savings which I have painstakingly saved over the week is gone. Time for next week. ._.''

Hai, oyasumi~

Selfish?

2010-04-29T21:03:00.002+08:00

Quick blog before I go and cry over hmk and tests.

Y'know, it's not that I'm selfish. I just want a basic courtesy of asking. I wanted to limit the no. of people to 5 at first. It's not like we're blind enough not to see that the shelter is very small and there's very limited space to move around.

Yes, it's nice to share but the shelter have mentioned on fb before that they don't exactly fancy too big a crowd. If I don't stop this "growing population", the whole class would be there sooner or later. Thus, from next week onwards, a limit of 10 people would be allowed to go. First-come-first-serve basis.

It's for the good of the dogs and operations there.

Have manners.

Week 1

2010-04-23T22:31:00.002+08:00

Week 1 is finally over!

Overall it was pretty slack since all labs and tutorials were more or less canceled. I had days where I went to school for like 2hrs. Hahaha. Today's lecture was canceled so I only had lesson from 10am-12pm. Awesomeness.

I'm a LITTLE stressed though. Lectures go very fast but I guess it's like that so I'll have to adapt somehow. Another thing is to get GPA 4.0, I need to score 80% and above. That includes CDS. ): I'm kinda afraid cos I'm starting to get lost during lectures now. But overall I still understand cos most of the content is from sec school. BUT! Best thing is, I have awesome friends who are willing to teach and study together. :D

Honestly, I wanna get a perfect GPA of 4.0. It IS possible and I know of a few seniors in my course who have such a grade. Oh I forgot to mention, there's a grade "Z". It sounds like you got a 0 for a subject but actually it's only given to the top 10% of your class (or cohort. I can't rmb). Which means, only 1 or 2 people in a class can get it. Lol. Ah wells, I'm just happy if I get an A (80%). It would mean GPA 4.0.

Suzume, stop comparing. Although it's pretty important during these 3 years to get to the top, academics isn't everything. Aim for 80%. You don't have to aim for grade Z. Know what you can do, silly girl.

Oh I have another reason to love my friends. We're going to Mdm Wong's shelter weekly. Did I mention that already? I kinda forgot. ;x Hahaha. Which means Monday we're going again! :D Yayness! I must rmb to bring my camera this time. Wanna take pics of the cuties there, esp the puppies, pixie and ahlian! (:

Today I went back to SNG to meet up with Beatrice, Joan, Jessica and Hiu Min. Hiu Min is joining JCC in NP! Which means she MIGHT be part of SOY! Coolness. :D Speaking of CCAs, I'm gonna said 2 CCAs. Community Service Club AND Japanese Cultural Group. Oh and I have to sign up for JCG like now. Brb.

Back. Sent an email. Kay back to my story. Basically I went back to visit Guides. I don't really feel the nostalgia though... Must be cos it's a different place now. But I still love my juniors. Jiayous Green Badge for Os! Stop complaining it's so freakin' hard cos things are gonna get harder when you advance upwards! Ganbatte~

Joanna and Carol went back too! Miss my blue badge guides. Love them loads. Shit I'm getting all nostalgic now. OHNOS!! Okay anw, I can't find any red badge flowerpeckers! Everytime I see a bunch of red badge freshies, I'll go up to them if they're from flowerpeck. NONE OF THEM ARE. WHY?! Beatrice and Joanna got to see some of their freshies already!! D:

Nvm. Camp I'll go back and search again. HAHA. Oh and I just smsed Nerice Aw a few moments ago to ask if she's free to go for camp and as of now she is! I can't wait to see her. I think the last time I saw her was prom can. Lol. What good friends we are hahaha. When I see her, it also means my holidays are here~ :P

Okay I'm feeling kinda tired now. Shall do some hmk before sleeping till 2pm tmr. LOL. ;x

Freshie ish noobzxzxz.

Cliques

2010-04-21T22:53:00.002+08:00

I'm stuck in the middle.

Let's be frank here, I don't like the word "clique". Although it does make it sound like you have a fixed number of friends, it also sorta mean that you're kinda blocking off other people. Hais... Here's the situation I'm facing:

We started off as a clique of 4.
Another girl enters during the last day of orientation.
Thus we become a clique of 5.
An odd number.
Hard to pair up.
Meaning someone would be left out somehow.
Some of us in the clique feels uncomfortable.
Wants to "kick out" this new girl.
A part of me does not want to defy in fear that I'll be hated.
Another part of me don't wanna do it.

The main reason is cos of the fear of conflicts if we remain as a clique of 5. Like someone would feel neglected. My stand is...

There are bound to be conflicts in the game of life. What matters is how you handle the conflicts.

But yet, I'm still unsure of what to do. Should I go along with this "clique" of mine? Or should I still welcome her into our "clique"?

There was a birthday celebration for a guy in our class today. I thought the whole class was invited. In the end it was just the guys and our clique (our clique is somewhat closer to the guys). Guess what? I was shocked that the new girl wasn't invited. They didn't want her to get the "wrong idea" that she's in our clique...

Call me a wuss or whatever but I just can't do it. I grew up as an introvert, which means I was left out a lot. Popular people won't be able to understand. The feeling hurts... Like you're not important. That said, I grew up with it so I'm kind of used to it. However, I don't want others to feel the same. I don't want to do the same to others. Just because others did it to me doesn't mean I can do the same to others.

I rather let nature take it's own course. If she isn't meant to be in our clique, she'll eventually flow into another. By purposely leaving her out... I think THAT would lead into a conflict.

I'm so contradicting myself now... Cos this post would probably lead into a conflict. But I need a medium to let it off my chest. I feel so torn inside. Help. ):

どうしよ？

Yuki almost left

2010-04-19T18:53:00.002+08:00

Last night, my yuki-chan almost left us.

Her milk bone got stuck in her oesophagus and she was coughing like mad. She was foaming and I kept trying to help her push the bone out. After 10mins the bone still wasnt coming out and her tongue was turning purple and was hanging out. If you know, when a person is hanged, the tongue dangles out. There were also 2-3 times she suddenly went into spasm mode. I remained calm and firmly told my dad we HAD to go to the vet.

On the way, all I wanted to ensure was that she can breathe. Her tongue slowly turned back to pinkish colour. I massaged her throat gently so as not to press to hard and cover her windpipe as well. Midway, she puked out foam again but after that she was much better. I felt her throat once more and the huge piece of milk bone seemed to have gone down. She started to pant normally.

However, just to make sure, we still sent her into A&E at Mt. Pleasant. The doctor told us if she choked, she prob wouldve died in 5mins. Theyre still wondering what exactly happened. Its either we acted fast enough to clear some passageway for air, or the bone wasnt very huge. But it WAS quite huge for her throat actually. Either way, they took an x-ray and saw a huge chunk of round thing in her stomach, suspecting it would be the bone.

All is well and Yuki-chan was given some meds for the swelling in the throat and meds to make her burp and fart cos a lot of air was taken in when she was trying to cough out the bone. I was thinking how lucky we were. Cos my dad actually gave Yuki-chan the bone and left her alone at home. If anything were to happen, no one wouldve known and we would have came home facing a dead dog. I was thanking my lucky stars and thanking god. It wasnt time for Yuki-chan to go yet.

Why must all traumatizing dog experiences happen on the day before school reopen?! Rocky went to Rainbow Bridge on the last day of June hols... and this happened before my 1st day of poly. Now I dont even feel like blogging about my 1st day of school, despite it being quite eventful. Perhaps later...

Thank god.

Last day of orientation

2010-04-17T00:24:00.002+08:00

The last day of orientation finally came. I was looking forward to it! My mood was dampened due to the heavy rain in the morning though. Reached super early again. -_-'' Gail didn't come cos she has high fever. D: Take care Gail!!

Jolyn came soon after and she was trapped at the taxi stand so I went down to pick her up. My shoes and socks got TOTALLY soaked. Jolyn felt so guilty that she helped me blow dry my socks! So nice right? Now I feel guilty. HAHA. Oh and we changed into our AS tee! I love green. (:

Shu Feng was late today! Hahaha. I left my socks in the LT to let it dry and walked around with my super wet shoes. Went to TCC and it was suuuuuuuuper cold. My wet shoes didn't help either. I took them off and I think it stank the whole TCC. ;x

At the TCC we watched some skit thingy. It was pretty hilarious haha. After that we proceeded to boring cheers. ): I dunno why but I can't seem to get high with the cheers. It got pretty boring from there on. But my awesome friends kept it lively. :D I'm so grateful for them.

After TCC we headed for the track for the olympiad thingy. Had our lunch there. Lunch wasn't very good cos they served fake meat. To start with I don't like meat so even if it's fake meat it was still gross to me. D: Cheered for the games and stuff. The games were quite cute and innovative haha. Sadly AS lost. Aww... But nehmind hurrhurr.

Proceeded to bedok reservoir when all the games were done. Cheered for dragon boat and some CCAs performed for us. I guess AS is mainly occupied with geeks (that's what we are labeled as) and thus we are not very athletic. Hahaha. BUT... AS won the cheer competition! It would be the 4th time in a row!! AS is awesome. :D

Didn't like the place we were sitting on though... We sat on WET, DECAYING leaves. When I stood up something hit my ankle and when I looked down, a millipede was crawling away. @($*)(#*$!!! From then on I didn't dare to sit down anymore. ): I stood all the way till 7pm. Oh and somehow I didn't hear the announcement about being dismissed at 8pm so when I knew I was kinda pissed and my mood shot down even further.

Furthermore, Shu Feng had sth on so she had to leave at 6pm, leaving me with a new found friend, Gui Mei! :D She didn't come for the previous 2 days of orientation and she clicks pretty well with us. (: Glad to have her around.

At 7pm we went back to the LT to take our matric card (god I'm so unphotogenic) and timetable. I like receiving new timetables. (: My timetable is not bad either. Earliest to go to school is 9am and latest is 6pm. The 6pm one is only on one day though. :D I'm thinking of making my volunteer visits to Mdm Wong's shelter to a weekly one on every Monday since I end at 2pm. ^_^ I have more animal-loving friends to come with me too!

I'm happy to be in TP.

幸せ

Muscleaches. ):

2010-04-15T19:08:00.008+08:00

My muscle aches worsened! D: I can hardly bend my legs now. T.T At least friday would be all cheering and stuff... I hope.

I'm sleeping far too much now. After 12 hrs of sleep, I stayed up till 4am and had 8hrs of sleep. ._.'' Wanted to go to Mdm Wong's shelter today but ended up going out with pa to look at laptops. I love pink laptops. :D I'm so gay. But whatever.

I finally made a new pair of specs! Haha it'll be done just in time before school officially starts. (: Oh and I have something to ask you guys. I'm having headaches over what to wear for school so I was thinking if I should get a few sets of "uniforms".

It'll be something like what Ogawa Yui wears:

Basically its:
-White short sleeved blouse
-Tie
-High waist pleated + checkered skirt

I'm planning to buy like similar ones just different colours. I'm still thinking if I should buy sth to wear under the skirt to make it slightly poofy like Yui's one. Maa... I dunno if I should do it. I think it'll totally change my classmate's impression of me. HAHAHA. But if I really do it I don't have to have a headache over what to wear. :s

Things pulling me back:
-Cost of clothes
-Once I do it I probably have to do it for the rest of my 3 years
-I'll be labelled as 'weird' once again (but actually I'm used to it already so this pt isn't very valid)

Advantages:
-No more headaches! :D
-I love it. ;x
-Simple and not so exaggerated like Lolita. (there are hardcore lolitas in polys)

HELP ME!!

Orientation Day 2

2010-04-14T23:30:00.002+08:00

Survived day 2 of orientation, fortunately. XD

I'll try to see what I rmb...

Met Shu Feng and Gail at 11am to have brunch at macs at tampines mall first. Oh and before that I bought lays at NTUC while waiting for them (I was very early ;x). After macs we went back to NTUC and Gail bought mars and smarties. :D Then we took 23 to tp. Was supposed to meet Jolyn at the bus stop outside tp but in the end she went in already HAHA.

Assembled at LT5 again I think...? Then we went to lvl 6 for our careperson thingy. I'm index 1, again. ._.'' So I went in first. Our careperson is... uh oh I forgot his name LOL. But I knew him from Open House. (: He asked a few standard questions and stuff. He's a friendly guy, which is good. :D

After the interview the class played double whako while waiting to go in. Played until sian liao then we started to learn the school song. o.o'' Our school song have sign language one HAHA. Kinda cool but it's quite gay too. XD Only half of our class managed to go for the interview. Proceeded to the AS canteen (flavours I think) to have some drinks. It's airconditioned! :D Cool huh? It's like those kopitiam. When we finished our drinks, Shu Feng and Jolyn had to change their pads. Since we're in a mixed school, we can't openly bring the pads lol. Although some people say they don't care and just take it out openly. XD I was the only one with pockets so I had to loan them a pocket each LOL.

Oh and the other half of our class went for the interview soon after. Stoned for quite awhile before assembling back have dinner and they had black pepper fish thingy (vegetarian style) AND I LOVED IT!! Mainly cos I love black pepper crab too! It was the exact same sauce!! Made the dinner so worthwhile. (:

Waited for Amazing Race to start in the LT. Split our groups and Shu Feng was appointed to another class! ): Sobs. Gail, Jolyn and I were in the same group though. Bryan led us around.

Our first clue was to go the lvl 6 maze. Before that, at the canteen, Bryan told us about the ghost story in lvl 6.... That a girl was murdered and stuffed into the locker. Soon after the incident people started saying they saw a girl sitting on the lockers. When they removed the lockers, people started saying they are seeing lockers. O_O... We kinda freaked out when we went there haha. But it was still ok, until the lights went off completely. -_-... According to them, our maze wasn't as scary as another one. A girl from the other maze actually cried, like REAL bad.

When my turn reached to enter the maze, I was freaked out already HAHA. Cos I was supposed to make a u-turn. In front of me were all garbage bags and no openings. Beside the lightstick was a fake head. -.-'' When I saw the opening behind I wasn't sure if i was supposed to go there cos it was kinda weird. When I finally decided to, it was pitch dark. Luckily the person before me, Charlotte was still not far infront of me. She told me it was supposed to be pitch dark so I just walked forward till I saw her. I heaved a sigh of relief. (:

She led me to the rubberbands we were supposed to take. If she didn't I would've just forgotten. If I did, I had to go back in agn. =33=... Proceeded forward into the maze and we bumped into Tehjah (I dunno how to spell his name!!) He was big-sized and cos it was so dark, we could barely see anything. When he saw us, he walked infront of us and gave a low "Hi." Both of us totally SCREEEAAAMED!!! Lolol. XD He should thank god he didn't get kicked cos Charlotte learns Teakwando and she's planning to go for YOG. HAHA.

Met Gail and Jolyn inside as well cos they were finding an exit. They mistook the exit as the entrance so they were desperately looking for another one. After turning round and round we decided to try opening the door and yay! We were all out tgt~ (which we weren't supposed to but nvrmind) XD

When everyone finished the maze, we took the next clue and had to run all the way to TCC! If you know, AS school is one end and TCC is the other end of the school. I'm so weak so I just jogged there. ;x Played the scissors paper stone then pour water on loser game. Falken (not FELKEN. I know I spelt it wrong in the previous post) won! :D Jolyn said Bryan is cute HAHA. He looks like a little boy so I guess that's why he's cute...? I dunno. Both Gail and I aren't very interested LOL. Probably cos both of us were from a girls school for TEN years. :D

Next clue was to... AS school agn? It was a blindfolded game and everyone have to walk on the dotted line. Most of our class cheated cos we just arranged the blindfold in a way that we can see a bit. XD Teachings from Bryan. Lol. At the end we were supposed to put our hands into starch and take a rubberband. Gross shit. Haha. I thought it was leftover food la! It looked like it lor. Falken lost though. ): But we won the cheer! :D Awesomeness.

Proceeded to.. where ah... the water bucket game? I cannot rmb the sequence le. ;x Anyway we were supposed to lift a bucket with our feet (without touched the bottom) and removed our shoes and the same time. Split into 2 smaller groups and my group finished VERY quickly. The other group's strength was eneven so they kept dropping the bucket. Nevertheless, we still won. :P I think it was supper after that. Met up with the other half of the class led by Priscilla. Drank warm milo and some biscuits. Played Handiplus and Tehjah whacked Yiyang (I think) so hard that you can REALLY see his veins popping out. Ouch.

Continued with AR. Next should be the Acid River thing. We had to cross a "river" using "planks" and at every one time the plank should be stepped on or it would be taken away. The game was quite fun, just that I almost did a split LOL. XD Ended super early AGAIN (we kept ending early... resulting in slack moments and being able to walk slowly to our next station). Talked a bit about our dogs and stuff. Haha. Can really see we're from Vet Tech. XD OH OH and we were given shirts and behind says "VeT'. HOW COOL IS THAT?!?! LOVE IT!!!! :D

Slowly walked to the next station and we got super wet there. We were supposed to carry cups with HOLES in OUR MOUTHS with our arms INTERLOCKED. We went in pairs la. There were obstacles in the way and they distracted us by SERIOUSLY splashing water around. At the end our goal was to use the water to fill a 1.5 litre water bottle. My mouth ached after that! D: It was the most thrilling one though. :D

Finally we reached our last showdown. It was the most tiring game as well. We had our own fortress and we were given rings to throw into other people's fortress. When it's into a box, 1 pt is given. Into a chair leg, 5 pts. into the pole, 10pts. 1st half was quite alright. 2nd half was bad cos after a whistle (when a whistle is blown, we're supposed to lie on the ground FLAT.) everyone suddenly came to attack Falken. D: But I managed to throw a ring into a leg chair! :D

Went back to LT5 after the game and met up with Shu Feng! Changed into dry clothes. (: We wanted to skip the learning the cheers part (really boring) so we went out with the exucse that we wanted to eat cup noodles (yes they served cup noodles as "breakfast"). In the end we were only allowed to have 1 cup and there were 4 of us so we decided that it was finally the time to bring out our snacks. :D Invited the guys to join us and we had a mini "1/4 of the class" outing. XD That was our breakfast. Haha.

The sun slowly rose and we were finally dismissed. Pa came to fetch me home after sending my bro and mum to school. (: Yuki came along too! XD She licked me like some crazy dog in the car. Hahaha. Went home, bathed, turned on the air con and slept for close to 12hrs before waking up for dinner. :D

I SURVIVED!!! Amazing. It wasn't as crazy as the one at TPRAWKS. If it was, I probably would have really died cos that one I can't even run. My asthmatic cough was acting up. D: See how bad it was?

Oh and great news. I DON'T HAVE ORIENTATION TMR!!! ^_^~ Only VeT dunnid! Haha! Cos we did whatever we had to do on Day 1 already! :D We only have to go back on Friday where all 6 schools' freshies come together for some showdown thingy. (: Whee!

Love you K01 or TK01 or whatever we're called. :D

Orientation Day 1

2010-04-12T21:56:00.002+08:00

I survived day 1 of orientation. Why? We didn't even play much. :D

This morning I left house together with my whole family. My dad fetch my bro to school first before sending me to Bishan interchange before sending my mum to work. XD When I reach the interchange it was close to 7.30am. Took 59 and reached at about 8.20am. Walked TWO bus stops to TP and I was 5min late. ): But most people reached around that time too hahaha. ;x

I brought the wrong piece of paper so I forgot where to meet. Based on my memory and instincts, I managed to reach the place without any hiccups! Cool huh? XD Went to LT5 where Felkons unite. Saw Claudia (Jessica's bestie) but she was in another class. Sad right!! ): My class is K01, in short, K1. After 10 years of formal education, I actually went back to K1?!?! XDXD Lol. Oh and my class has 25 people. Out of which only 5 people are guys. Plus, most of the guys didn't want to go to this course LOL. Poor guys.

Sat next to a girl called Gail. She's go sociable! Which is great, if not I would've stoned and cried in my heart. T.T

Proceeded to some com lab which I forgot which one HAHA. Gail and I sat with 2 other girls, Shu Feng and Jolyn! :D From there the 4 of us sorta became a clique. Hahaha. Was educated on copyright issues and plagiarism there. Research part was super sian cos we really had to RESEARCH. ._.'' Played Second Life there too. Haha. It was kinda interesting cos we had to build a house and it's not as simple as Sims. We have to take note of the thickness and all sorts of angles. But I did the research part so I only watched them finish up the house. (: Oh forgot to mention, our OLs are Priscilla and Bryan. :D

I actually forgot that I ticked vegetarian in my indemnity form so when they asked if I had any food preferences I said no. ;x Oops. Still got my vegetarian meal though. Whee~ Bryan is a vegetarian too! Although before that I thought I heard him say, "I was a vegetarian too!" I was kinda o.o...? Hahaha.

After lunch, we proceeded to another com lab to learn about the different online systems in school. I shall go see if my timetable is out already later. :D It was pretty boring cos there were so many systems! We have TP student portal, some olive thingy inside, Applied Science portal AND student email. =33=... Luckily the speaker was kinda entertaining. (:

Last item of the day was games. I was talking too much so I didn't notice our scorings at all. ;x We played this obstacle game thingy which "Friends" (when we address each other, we just call one another 'friend'. Haha) did not play cos time ran out. We did play the water cup game though. I think I was being such a bimbo will playing it cos I was screaming like one when Shu Feng almost crashed into an obstacle (she was blindfolded. I was supposed to guide her). :\

We only played these 2 games. I wanted to play water bomb!! Reminds me of Guiding days when I was in lower sec. Upper sec time... susanlim banned them. -.-'' Ah wells...

We proceeded for some CM lecture thing. I was dozing off! Plus I think the lecturer saw me!! So embarrassing can. ): Sorry la, we were all damn tired le. Plus she was so... boring. ;x After she finally finished her long and boring talk/lecture, one OL came in a briefed us on the rest of the activities for orientation. We need to do this kindness skit (wth...) and all sorts of rubbish. Plus, they JUST told us that we have to report to 12.30pm tmr. Wtf. Amazing race puts me off already and you guys have to put it AT NIGHT and now I have to wake up at 8am+ cos I need so much time to travel. I officially hate orientation. I love my classmates though. * Sigh *

Oh oh and we have to report so early cos of Careperson INTERVIEW. What?! If he/she is really a CAREperson, would he/she schedule this stupid interview on our overnight stay?! If it's one-to-one I might really ask he/she about it. Zzz. Because of that, I'll be up for more than 24 hours due to travelling and bathing and whatnots.

): The kindness skit thing even has to continue all the way till after school officially reopens... Biang... Jiu Ming... I'm half hoping I'll fall sick by tmr. Half not hoping cos I dun wanna miss the times with my new found friends. :\ Why oh why must they be so super onz.

Anyway, I took 59 back to Bishan to have dinner. Super jam at Toa Payoh so I took like 1.5hrs to reach Bishan. ): I almost had a butt cramp. Did I mention I'm gonna try taking MRT tmr? I'll see which one is faster.

Which me more luck tmr. T.T

Tired.

Last few days of freedom!

2010-04-11T22:50:00.002+08:00

Okay it's about time I update about my jam-packed last few days of freedom.

Friday

Photoshoot day! :D Woke up late. -_- Thus lesser time to get ready. When I was at the bus stop it was almost 3pm already (was supposed to meet claudia at 3pm at Bishan mrt). Then I realised that I should wear a red hair band and hair tie to suit my dress. So I rushed all the way back home to change it and when I went back to the bus stop, I just missed the bus. -.-''

Met claudia at Bishan mrt. Was a little later than her. I always make her wait. Sorry! ): Overall we were both very late. Supposed to meet at 3.30pm but met at 4+ instead. ;x Location changed from Raffles Place to City Hall. Met JP and his 2 friends at City Hall. Walked for a looooooooong while to Milennia Walk (?) which was under renovation so we went to some nearby place (I dunno wads the place called) and took some pics. It was damn windy but it was fun. :D Pictures on facebook when I upload them. Probably later or tmr.

After snapping quite a number of shots, it started raining, heavily. D: So we changed our location to esplanade. Stopped at a few places for a few shots on the way there. Bought soya milk to fill my stomach a little while claudia bought soya milk ice blend and 2 cheese pancakes. It looked super yummy. :D

At esplanade, JP's friend came for another photoshoot so JP started taking pics of her while JP's friends took pics of me and claudia. (: Managed to catch the sun set! :DDD By then it was pretty late already and I had to head back home for family dinner so me and claudia left.

Thank you JP and friends for the photoshoot! It was very fun!! Can't wait for the pictures from JP's friends side. (:

Met my mum at Bishan cos she went to buy drinks first. Took the bus back home and we had pizza waiting for us!! ^_^ Yum~~ After which we watched tv and proceeded to play monopoly! I had a touch match with my bro all the way till 2.30am cos we kept taking each others money hahaha. In the end he won. It's okay! Still have next week! MUAHAHAHAHA!!

Saturday

Rehearsal day! For what, I shall not say, in case they kill me. XD It seems like if I take MRT I only need around 40min+ to reach around Tampines area. Once Paya Lebar station opens, it'll probably take less than 30min to reach Tampines. Good good. (: I'm still debating if I should take MRT or bus to school tmr. Hmm...

ANYWAY~ It was fun dancing with jac! XD The dance was super fun too! Hahaha. The atmosphere was super good cos everyone was willing to dance. :D Managed to learn TWO 8 sets or 8! Ain't that awesome? In like 2hrs! It's really great cos it ended on time (actually early!). Now I can't wait for the actual date!! :DD I shall video cam the actual date. (:

After the rehearsal, Jac and I went to buy bubble tea. Walked around Candy Empire and Jac is so cute lol. XD We walked walked walked and she finally said, "Okay I wanna buy chocolate." So we walked to where the choc she wanted to buy was and she picked it up, looked at the price again, put it back and said, "$3 very ex leh... Dun wan buy liao." LOL. XD Aiyah, it's those you-have-to-be-there-to-know-it kind of moments. :P

We parted ways after that cos she took a bus to Yishun while I took the MRT. Love spending time with Jac. (: Really a pity that Jes missed the 1st rehearsal which resulted in her unable to participate in the performance. ()@&$(*&$@!!! If I knew I would've helped her hand up her form first. Zzz.

Sunday

Lolita Tea Party @ A87 day! :D I went for it cos it was free. LOL. ;x It was still fun though. Sort of made new friends (didn't take their contact though. HAHA.). We had our free lunch, which was kinda miserable for me cos I don't really like chicken and they served:
-Omurice with MUSHROOM (omg yuck) inside
-Fried CHICKEN SKIN
-Fried chicken wing
-Tamago roll

Have I mentioned before? I also don't really like too much egg. XD Plus, the drink they served was milk TEA. Luckily there was the MILK added there, or I might have died. Chatted (not much for me) among the lolitas and we went to the 2nd floor to take pics. Now I wonder where I can see the pictures. HAHA. Phail. Shall go search for it. Dragged till 4.15pm and I finally left cos my parents were waiting for me.

Should I join as a talent? Like go for photoshoots but get paid for them... I'll be sort of be under A87 and we'll sign a contract to protect both parties so I guess it's kinda safe? Plus, I get to choose if I wanna take up the project or not. I like the flexibility. (:

Tell me if I should or should not! :D

Yep. That's it. Tomorrow is my orientation already... Not looking forward to it. ): Hais... Nvm shall survive the week somehow. T.T... Shall look forward to next week! Where my lessons start! :D YAY!!! Anyway I just hope there isn't too many activities for my orientation cos I'm getting muscleaches from cycling + dancing + photoshoot continuously.

Wish me luck for tomorrow. D:

Bye freedom.

Cycling trip with Claudia!

2010-04-08T22:08:00.003+08:00

Yay!! I went cycling today at ECP with claudia! :D Finally I got some proper exercise after 6mths of holiday. Gosh I'm so fat now.

Lets start from the beginning. (: Met claudia at Bishan to take 13 to ECP. Listened to music all the way. It was suuuuuuper boring cos the bus ride lasted for like 1hr+? Hahaha so both of us just stoned and listen to our own music. XD

When we finally reached, we made our way to macs and I had mcspicy like AGAIN! Oh god. We spent like an hour there and I applied my sun block in macs. Lol. Do you think it's weird? To see someone applying sun block in macs? XDXD But I guess since it's at ECP it's not so weird ba hahaha.

Rented our bikes. It's only $6 for 3hrs! :o It's supposedly pay for 1hr, get 2hrs free. Lolol. It was a good deal. (: It's good to be cycling again! I love cycling!! Just that my butt and -ahem- would hurt. ): Haha don't feel disgusted. XD Anyway I love the breeze when I'm cycling plus the beach right beside me. ^_^ Loved it.

We cycled all the way to the jetty area and rested for awhile, camwhoring using claudia's hp hahaha cos I forgot to bring my camera. ;x Oops! Chatted and once we got our rest, we continued cycling. Went all the way to a place where there were a lot of... sailing boats? I forgot what they are called. But they were all damn cute, floating on the sea liddat. XD Camwhored SOMEMORE... and talked about stuff like school and such. It's nice talking to claudia. (: When we were about to leave, my slippers were like infested with ants. T.T I was freakin' out and claudia helped me out in brushing them off. Thanks!! Love you honey~ :DD

From there, we started to head back. We made a stop at this beautiful place filled with different coloured bougainvilleas. It was suuuuper nice!! Maybe can have photoshoot there next time too! But it's not very big though. Ah wells. Camwhored there again LOL. You can't escape camwhoring when you're with claudia. ;x

Cycled all the way back to where we started. Before returning the bikes back, we went to soak our feet in the water first. Love the feeling, although the journey towards the water was bad. The sand were poking my feet like crazy! There was only a small part of the beach where the sand was soft and nice. We climbed onto the breakwater there. There were 2 actually, I think the sand started to move out so they had to build another one? I dunno, the old breakwater was almost covered with sand. Oh god, now I wonder how I got A1 for combined humans. -_-''

Spent some quality time there * hearts *. HAHA. When we decided to leave, I was such a coward. =33= I was so scared jumping down the breakwater. Zzz. It was quite steep and I didn't have my slippers on PLUS, the sand was the rough type. ): I totally did NOT want to injure myself. I finally hopped off soon enough but while I was in the air, at that split second, my heart really jumped. Hahaha, what a wuss.

We saw two dogs. One labrador and another mixed I think. They were together with their ang moh owners. Okay but that's not the point. All I wanted to say is that they're so adorable!! XD Their pawprints on the sand was like "aww~". Lol. I'm so amused by the littlest things.

Went to macs to wash our feet first. My slipper had one flower missing so while I was washing my feet, a little boy beside me pointed to my slipper and said, "Your flower drop off..." I laughed, he looked up at me with his innocent eyes and I smiled back. I love little kids. (: (ONLY WHEN THEY ARE NOT WHINING AND THINKING THE WHOLE WORLD OWES THEM)

We decided to try taking 55 back to Bishan so we bough bubble tea on the way. (: Went into our stoning mode again and claudia dropped off first to change a bus to take back home while I went all the way to Bishan interchange.

Lucky me, 52 arrived when I reached the waiting bay. In my heart I was thinking, "hmm, maybe I'll meet mummy. Too bad she forgot to bring her hp, if not I can call her to ask where she was." I was looking around for her but it was so crowded... Almost halfway back home, when the crowd finally cleared at Bishan St. 22, I looked up and saw my mum stoning! I was totally "LOL!" in my head. XD I stared at her reeeeaaaal hard and smiled widely. She saw me and gave me the "do I know you?" look. XD Partly cos I didn't have my specs on. HAHA. When she finally recognised me I walked up to her. Lolol. How coincidental right? The other time I was taking 52 also I think. And at the Bishan St. 22 stop my bro boarded the bus. XD Proves that we're really one family. Hahaha.

Photoshoot tmr. (: Claudia's coming along too! :D Pretty her would produce pretty pictures. ^^v Can't wait! Whee~

Ano ne, gomen ne.

School

2010-04-07T22:06:00.004+08:00

Orientation starts next Monday and I wanna finish some stuff before it starts... Such as:

-CLEANING UP MY ROOM! XD
-Settle accounts for Pets Dream (I seriously need to organize things since we're starting to import overseas things)

I've got my school bag ready le. (: Just need to clear a shelf for TP stuff like my notes in the future.

...
...
...

Shit I think my wound just opened. No wonder it hurts like shit. -_-

...
...
...

ANYWAY... -ouch- I'm excited AND scared at the same time. ): Excited about the new environment, new future, totally new people and new future. I'm scared about the people there. :\ TP is a very outgoing type of school and I'm kinda afraid of those super high people and... majority of them definitely would not be like St. Nicks people. I've been GROWING UP with st. nicks people for 10years. A huge change would be kinda hard. I dunno how to say this but I guess TP people would be more... wild? ;x

I was afraid of my attire too. Like what is allowed and what is not. I don't even have a proper PE attire. It'll be super weird if I wore SNG PE attire. -_- I figured out it'll be even weirder if I wore full sports attire as well. Argh. I'll just wear whatever I'm comfortable to run in. Oh and my school bag is a backpack. I realised that poly clothes don't really go well with backpacks. Well, for me that is. :s So I was afraid I'll look like a weirdo in the campus.

But...

In the end I remembered who I was. I'm someone who doesn't really like following trends which led me to be labelled as "weird" fashion wise. I grew up with that so why am I so bothered now? Just cos there are guys? Stupid Suzume. Remember, you dress for yourself, not for others. Ah yes, thanks for the reminder. (: If I were rich enough, I would've gone to school as a full loli. But lol, I'm not. =33= Anyway, who cares if I'm dressed weirdly? Who cares about what guys think? Don't you think that this way I can erase those playboys away? XD Chase away those that only love you for your appearance. :D

I'm so weird.

Dry food for dogs

2010-04-07T00:29:00.002+08:00

Jes you may want to show this article to your mum's friend. (:

Junk food is killing pet cats and dogs

Apr 6, 2010

PARIS - THE junk food and poor eating habits affecting humans is also killing their four-legged pals, say veterinary surgeons and experts.

Pet owners tend to favour processed foods because of the difficulty of preparing nutritionally balanced meals, which in an ideal world should contain some 50 nutrients as well as meat, vegetables, rice and pasta. -- PHOTO: AFP

Allergies and obesity are reducing the life expectancy of Lassies and Mittens nourished worldwide on industrial foodstuffs, said Gerard Lippert, a Belgian acupuncturist for animals who has just completed a study on the diets of 600 dead dogs.

'Pets, like humans, are victims of junk food,' he told AFP.

Of the 600 furry corpses he examined 'those fed on processed foods died three years earlier than those fed on food made in the home.'

Dogs, he added, 'originally were omnivores who shared their food with humans.'

Rippert said he was increasingly called on to heal skin, motor and digestive problems as acupuncture was an all-embracing method enabling work on practically all organs.

'Dry dog food and cat food croquettes are over-heated, which destroys vitamins, trace elements and other basic nutritional elements,' he said.

'We don't know the origin of the proteins in the foods,' he added. 'And there's an excessive amount of cereal, often genetically modified, and very little vegetables.'

'We're turning our dogs and cats into ruminants, he said.

Laurence Colliard, a veterinary surgeon and nutritionist located in the Paris suburbs, estimates that only five percent of French pet-owners cook food for their four-legged companions.

France is Europe's top pet nation - with 7.8 million dogs and 10.7 million cats, according to a 2008 study by the Sofres/Facco polling institute.

'I'm seeing an increasing number of allergies, diarrhea, vomitting, skin dermatitis as well as cases of obesity, specially amid cats because of the excessively high energy content in industrially-produced cat foods,' said Colliard.

Pet owners tend to favour processed foods because of the difficulty of preparing nutritionally balanced meals, which in an ideal world should contain some 50 nutrients as well as meat, vegetables, rice and pasta. An animal's age, weight and exercise routine also need to be taken into account.

The packs on offer on supermarket shelves also claim as a bonus to reduce nasty urine smells and modify the consistency of animal poop.

The pet food industry was born in England where James Spratt produced the world's first dog biscuits in 1860.

Some 150 years later, many Internet sites are calling for a return to natural foods for pets.

BARF or Biologically Appropriate Raw Food is a type of pet diet that consists of 'raw meat, bones, and organs,' says www.barf.com.

'It is the practice of feeding domestic pets their evolutionary diet as a way of maximizing their health and longevity.'

'Dogs should not eat cooked or processed food,' it adds. 'Instead, your pet should consume foods that are similar to a dog's wild ancestors. This includes bones, fat, meat, and vegetable materials.'

'It's only in the last 100 years we have we been led to believe that dogs cannot survive without packaged food. We are told it would be harmful if we were to give them the scraps from our own home cooked meals. This is pure poppycock!' -- AFP

To all those who are feeding their dog purely on dry food, you may like to choose the following:
1. Continue doing so and let your dog live 3 years lesser than if would have lived.
2. Change its diet and have a much healthier and happier dog.

Why happier? How would YOU feel if you're fed the same thing everyday and you can't say anything about it? Even if it's just like the super yummylicious fast food, I bet you can't survive on macs for all your meals right?

Make the right choice.

2010-04-03T17:56:00.003+08:00

Hi all, I didn't go to Mdm Wong's shelter today. Went to collect money from buyer instead and went to nai's house to visit her while the guys in the house went to cut their grassy hair. (:

Anyway, I'm planning to change my blogskin! But I can't decide between 2 designs. ): So can you guys help me out? (: I'll put the links to the preview of the blogskins here and you can vote via my tagboard! :D

1. http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=174049&action=Preview
Likes: Pink, lacey, cute.
Dislikes: Blogging space is very small.

2. http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=191318&action=Preview
Likes: Blogging space satisfactory, scrapbook concept, cool box thingy at the corner.
Dislikes: Not pink. D:

Lol I started off wanting to search for a more hime-ish kind of blogskin but the 2nd one really caught my attention so I'm kinda caught inbetween. :s Please help!! Thank you! :D

Otanjoubi Omedetou Ruru-nekohime-chama! ^_^

Mdm Wong's shelter + Life concert

2010-04-02T03:01:00.002+08:00

Warning: super long post

I went to volunteer at Mdm Wong's shelter! :D I didn't really help much though haha. XD Most of the time was spent talking about the shelter and animal welfare. Played with the cats (who were mostly sneezing and caughing D:) and the big dogs. I can only remember the names of some of them... Ah lian (the alpha-wannabe dog), was it Temple (?), etto... Hyper... and from the other side there are... Carpark, Lady, Gaga, Poker, Face (SUPER EASY TO RMB LOL). Face is the judge character I think and I can't rmb which is the alpha wannabe on that side. PHAIL. There are many other dogs but I can't rmb their names/their names werent told to me. XD

I don't even know the name of my favourite one!! D: I shall ask the next time I'm there. (: He (I think!) is black with a little white on his chest and a few strand of white hair on his paws. XD He's kinda timid and still has his puppy look! Simply adorable~

Hahaha. Helped with the shredding of the chickens for their dinner. Mdm Wong tried giving some shredded chickens to the 1mth old puppies and they ate it! TWO plates summore! Super pups. XD Lol they are damn cute, can't even stand properly, chubby... one even has dark blue eyes! Damn nice! At 1 mth old, they are already partially paper trained! Super smart right!! Such cuties...

Helped with the mixing of rice + chicken + pumpkin for the big dogs. I didn't know dogs can eat chicken neck. XD I thought they can't even all sorts of chicken bone. But it seems like according to them, since they are big dogs, it doesn't really matter. As long as the huge bones are discarded. (:

Oh I made a new friend! Her name is Liting. ^_^ She just started volunteering there. She's a year younger than me. :D The superest thing about her is that she lives in JURONG!! The shelter is at PASIR RIS!! Super extreme to the super extreme! Dedicated animal lover. Pei fu pei fu...

Should I go there this sat? Maybe I will... See first bah. Anyone wants to go? :D

Anyway... 5pm came quickly and I had to leave for the Life concert at sajc. ): The concert was something not for me, really. I'm firm on what I believe. I do believe in god, but what the concert was shouting out was that if I do not join Christianity or whatever, god cannot love me and I'll remain "lost", which is the theme of the concert. Sorry to all Christians out there but to me, that's bullshit. ;x

If god is really almighty and loving and forgiving, then he would love everyone (his 'children') unconditionally right? Then why must we believe in him/join Christianity in order for him to love us and bless us? Even if one does not believe in him, he should 'forgive' that person and still love him right? There was one girl who talked about her path in Christianity and she makes it sound like if she neglects god, unfortunate comes her way and once she seeks for forgiveness from god, everything goes well already. Zzz, seriously, what bullshit is that.

I respect god, I really do. I believe he's there to lead me, guide me to my future. What is worshiping, exactly? I see no need in hardcore worshiping... We seek for help, we get our help, we thank in return. I understand that why people want to worship though. After all, he is the one that created us and gave us life. And this brings me to another topic.

As I stood in the air-conditioned, nicely equipped theater place with fancy lights, the dogs and cats at the shelter flashed past my mind. I stood there deep in my thoughts... I thought... People can spend millions of dollars on these, to get people to join in with the worshiping of god. Yet, they cant even give a portion of that to the fellow living things on earth which share the same air we breathe, the same water we drink, the same sunshine we live under.

God did not create humans only. The huge theater place was so freakin' huge. If just the STAGE alone was given to the dogs, so many lives could be saved. Yet they used it to psycho people to join in the hardcore worshiping. Humans are so... selfish. People, do you feel ashamed to be humans at times? I do. We are the stupid ones destroying the Earth we live on, we are the evil ones bringing harm to EACH OTHER and OTHERS, we are the selfish ones who keep wanting more and not willing to give...

Btw, to those who are Christians, please do not take this personally. I admit, my post is kinda stereotypical but it's just my own opinions, my thoughts, my way of thinking. Be FORGIVING and don't kill me. TYVM.

Hais...

Anyway after the concert it ended super late, like 9pm +++++. I was getting a bit of gastric already. Waited for Beatrice and in the end she walked off with a bunch of her friends. There are a few possibilities that might have happened, but I choose to believe in the more positive ones:
1. She didn't see us. (she might have thought we went off without her)
2. She thought we were at the locker place (which we WERE)

But what I was kinda irritated was that she didn't tell me beforehand we were gonna eat with a bunch of her friends. I'm an introvert so I don't like it when you suddenly tell me I have to eat dinner (which I have been anticipating for a very long time) with a bunch of people I don't know. I was looking forward to a nice dinner with people I know (I don't mind a few new strangers but 8 of them is far too many) and catch up with each other.

I think Jac was kinda uncomfortable too so both of us went to macs to eat while they ate at the coffeeshop. Thank God Jac was there. If not I would have cried inside my heart. Love you Jac! :D Hahaha. I've been seeing Jac quite frequently these 2wks. XD We're gonna see each other again when we collect our certs! (: Actually I feel quite bad to ask her to go for the concert... Cos she wasn't comfortable with it too. ): Sorry Jac!

Phew~ I'm finally done with my post! XD Hahaha. Okay tmr going out with Claudia (my pri school friend). Will talk about it tmr (or more like later, considering the time).

Amen.

Dance!

2010-03-22T22:36:00.002+08:00

My drive to dance is finally back. :D

There are 2 dances I wanna finish learning:
-Miku Miku Ni Shite Ageru
-Love & Joy

Love & Joy is easier IMO but I'm gonna learn Miku Miku Ni Shite Ageru first. ^_^

I'm thinking... If I learn it well enough and execute the moves well enough... Should I put them up on youtube? I wanna know where to improve. It's kinda hard to spot your own mistakes. I understand how nasty people can be on youtube but well... It will teach me what the 'real' world is anyway right? ;x

Hahaha. While researching on the dances, I found some awesome dancers on youtube!! They are so freakin cool! They are at a level that I may not ever reach. T.T They are my role models and I shall work towards being as good as them! HAHA. At least a goal would make me wanna do better right...? XD

Hurrhurr. After watching Miku Miku Ni Shite Ageru dance for so long I feel like cosing Miku just to dance it. ): BUT NO! I'm gonna save my moolah. :D Miku's wig is too long so it'll cost a BOMB.

Heehee. TMR'S OUTING WITH JAC AND JES FOR FREE CONE DAYYYYY!!! I'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. WHAT SHOULD I WEAR??? WHAT HAIRSTYLE??? MAKE UP OR NOT??? LOL. I sound like I'm going on a date. XDDDDD

Oh and I just finished watching Sola. Rei introduced me the anime like donkey years ago but I only watched the 1st ep. ;x Oops. But it's a nice anime. (: It's like tragic yet sweet...? Haha I dunno, you guys should go watch it. It's only 13 eps and 2 OVAs. Nyahaha. I like Matsuri. ^^'' No, I'm not a lesbian.

MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKU!

Class Dinner!

2010-03-18T20:49:00.002+08:00

Class dinner was nice. (:

It was great meeting up with the Gay Jays again. XD Hahaha. It was a teeny bit nostalgic. I really appreciate the dinner cos we've not been classmates for close to 6mths! :o We must have an outing every holiday!! ^_^

I really hoped that more people went though. It would be great if the whole class can go out some day. ): But chances are slim... It's kinda sad, cos we used to see each other almost everyday and now we can only see each other every few months. T.T I miss 4 Justice!!

I can even see myself when I'm 60 years old (if I live till then), opening the photo album I should start doing, looking at 4 Justice when we were young and feeling oh-so-nostalgic. Hahaha. Is nostalgic a sign of growing? Cos when you're young everything you experience is new so you can't exactly feel nostalgic about anything. XD

I love chilling out at the cool forum-like place. It's a nice place to hang out. It's big, so that we crazy girls can run about, throw shoes at each other and camwhore like crazy. Hurrhurr.

Four Jay 09', we must stay in touch kay! Like I said, every holiday one outing!! After JC then maybe like... every 6mths??? I think some of us might be going overseas for studies so we can have like mass chat on MSN/skype!! HAHA. And then and then when we graduate/start getting married, we can visit each other during CNY!! Like gathering at someone's place? And for x'mas too! HAHA I'M SO CRAZY. BUT I DON'T CARE, I DON'T WANNA LOSE YOU GUYS!! LOVE LOVE <3333 .

Promise kays? I hope facebook won't crash any day cos it's such a good medium for us to stay together and organise outings. Facebook wan sui!! :D Haha, everyone must do their part ya? If no one organise, TAKE THE INITIATIVE TO. I WILL TO SO YOU GUYS HAVE TOO KAY??? XDXD

Hehe okies. Jiayous for JC people. (: For Hiu Min and JH (?), let's jiayou for poly too! (Not like they will read my blog, but whatever.) ^_^!!!

Outing next tues with JAC!! YAY MY DARLING!! HAHA.

Love you Jay 09'.

Being fair

2010-03-16T12:57:00.002+08:00

A thought just came past my mind. Hmm...

I don't know if any of you realise, but sitting on the fence isn't as easy as you think. Many people always side their friends and fail to see things from a 3rd person POV, while will result in an unfair statement. Well, you can say that it's natural to side your friend but your friend isn't always right.

To me, by siding your friend who may be wrong in some areas, you are actually harming them. They will fail to realise that they are wrong and would never correct their mistakes. Am I even making sense? Oh and this is also another issue of assumption. One usually gets a one-sided story from their friend. An issue should not be judged based on a one-sided story and plus, you are not even involved in the issue. How do you know what exactly happened? It's unfair to decide who to side from one source. See, now it sounds like social studies. =33=

Hais... When you are blinded by friendship, you won't be able to see things fairly. When something happens, you can openly say that that person is blah blah blah. But when the same thing happens to your friend, you can't see that it's actually the same thing and thus, you become biased.

Hohoho I think none of you can understand me. XD I'm like writing a bunch of words that just come to my mind. :D

Be fair.

Proper post

2010-03-15T17:17:00.004+08:00

Hi earthlings.

I've decided to finally have a proper post on last saturday. HAHA.

It was a crazy day. ~_~

I woke up late cos I was waiting for JP and fel to reply me (what an excuse~) to cfm on our appointments. It was closing to 9am so I sent them another sms and they finally replied. Hey, I had a bad experience of traveling 40mins somewhere, waited 30mins and my friend didn't show up and 40mins back. ._.''

Kay so I woke up and quickly did my make up which obviously did not want to cooperate with me. I still have not mastered how to put my fake lashes nicely so I gave up on it and I kept smudging my make up so I had to re-do the SAME parts like 3 times. I was so pissed I accidentally rubbed off more than half of my white eyeliner pencil. D: Wasted so much. T.T I searched high and low for my socks which were actually under a pile of crap and my boots were not laced up.

I actually left the house with my converse shoes first when fel smsed me that she'll be late and I realised that I can only reach Novena MRT, the place she was supposed to pass me my goods, at 11am +. Her dance lesson starts at 10.45am so we decided to reschedule. I told her to sms me when her dance lesson end so that we can meet. Thus, I went back into my house and changed into my socks and boots before leaving again for Chinese Garden.

On my way there, fel smsed me that in 1hr 15min her lesson would end. It takes me like 45mins to go to Chinese Garden so I told her I can't meet her. I apologised like a thousand times. I wanted to call her and apologise but she was having her dance lesson so I just spammed 'sorry's in my sms. ): Sorry fel! I told her I can go to her house personally but she told me to just meet her the next day. (:

I reached Chinese Garden half an hour later than I thought I would. Sorry JP! ): It was 12pm so it wasn't exactly the best time for a shoot. We walked around, tried some shoots and stuff. I couldn't get myself to loosen up and smile naturally. If you see my photos later, you can see that I couldn't get the expression right. Especially the first few. I think I'll put them up on facebook once I transfer them over from my mum's com (JP sent it to me when I was on MSN on my mum's com). For now, I'll just post some edited ones that JP took from another cam.

Anyway the shoot was a nice experience. :D It was fun! Thanks JP for inviting me and thanks for the very expensive $1.60 can drink! XD These few weekends I'm kinda busy so I think our next shoot should be in April. Sorry! ):

After the shoot, I was super sweaty (AND STINKY! D:). x.x'' Took the train to AMK to meet Jes. :D She got too engrossed with her hmk (so guai right! :D) so she was late haha! I ate macs while waiting for her and when she arrived, we went hunting for her sports shoes and goggles! We tried a shop in AMK hub first (omg I forgot what the shop name is) but couldn't find one which attracted Jes. ): We proceeded to a cheaper shop at AMK central (? LOL) and after a loooooong time of searching, Jes finally decided to look at shoes of men cutting cos whenever she finds a nice one, they don't have her size. :\ Jes is tall so she obviously need bigger feet to balance herself. XD

Jes bought a super cool, super unique, BRIGHT orange shoe!! I was damn nice can! I bet none of you have such shoes. Bleh~ :P Hahaha. Jes bought her black goggles too! In total she spent a bit over $100. Not bad for sports shoes and goggles. (: Now I'm so tempted to buy a full sports attire so that I can work out at TP's gym. :DD

Hehe, we went to This Fashion after that! I tried quite a lot of clothing and bought 3 pieces in the end. They were $39 in total so average of $13 per piece. Not bad la. (: I'm just wondering if I'll wear those. Oops! XD Hahaha. Jes didn't get any. I'm not surprised though cos her taste isn't those type. (: I'm a cheapo girl with cheapo taste (ok not really cos jap sub cultural clothing are all very ex. -.-). Hurrhurr.

We went home after that cos it was already closing to 6pm! :o Overall, I had a very fun day!! :D I'll post more about my recent happenings another time. Maybe later. (: Too much in one post is too boring (actually this post is too boring ALREADY.) Hahaha now I know why so little people read my blog. XD!

Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.

The Four Agreements

2010-03-11T14:39:00.002+08:00

I was watching the vids by lisa on youtube about The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I'll put the links here so you guys can go watch it on youtube (my blog is too tiny to watch a vid nicely).

Like lisa says in the 1st vid, just because the book says so, doesn't mean you have to agree to everything. There is no absolute right or wrong. Take what you think it right TO YOU. My opinions may differ from yours.

1. Gossips. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxyP6YW42yg
Words are powerful. Why do you want to waste your energy on negativity? Even if you dislike someone, the more you shouldn't waste your energy on him/her when you can use that energy on positivity. Do you honestly gain satisfaction when the person being gossiped at gets hurt? Do you want to use the method of gossiping to gain people to your side? Is this how you want to live your life? Stop gossiping. Treat others the way you want others to treat you. This is my way of living. I'm sure any of you have been gossiped about at least once in life. Do you like how it felt? To be wronged about something you clearly did not do? To have your secret leaked out? Oh and I would also want to add something. Aplogising. Throw away your damn pathetic pride and apologise for your mistake. A friend is better than having an enemy.

2. Insecure. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLFnrqERgc
Don't take anything personally...? That's what the book says but like lisa asks, is it POSSIBLE not to take things personally? What I like in this vid is that it tells us that what others say about you is based on their opinion, their own criteria. Thus, it doesn't mean one tiny person says that you are this and that, that you are this and that. However, I want to add in that there IS a reason why the person says that. Something you did must have triggered that person to say such a thing. Unless it's a drunk stranger on the street who calls you stupid. As much as you shouldn't take things too personally, you should also think of the reason that person, who may be your friend, has said such a thing. What have you done? Did you make a mistake somewhere? Or is your friend trying to just piss you off? Whether positive or negative comments, don't let it get too over you.
Next point is when you accept what people say. Many a times people are not talking about you, yet you think they are. When this happens, it means that deep inside you accept it. It is purely due to your insecurity that makes it affect your life, your emotions. Lisa talks about making a 'force field' around you to block all the comments away. However, I feel that constructive comments should be welcomed. Like I said in one of my previous post, comments like "you're stupid", "you're a fucktard", should be blocked away. Welcome constructive comments to improve yourself.

3. Stop assuming. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPGkw9O3t1E
Let me write out a true life example. It was the day I wanted to get my medical form done for poly registration. I went to take my passport photo first. My dad went off to look for the clinic. When I exited from the photo shop, a mum and a daughter asked me for directions. They asked for the exact block the clinic was at. At that moment, I haven't called my dad yet so I didn't know. So I told them I didn't know where it was. I actually paused for awhile cos I was thinking if I should tell them that I was looking for it too. But I didn't see a need to so I just told them I didn't know where. When they walked off, I called my dad and by the time he told me where it was, I couldn't see them anymore. When I reached there, they were there already. When the mum saw me, she gave me the look as if I purposely didn't want to tell her. I can't exactly blame her cos under such circumstances, many people are prone to assuming. I even tried smiling at her but she gave me the "fuck off, stupid bitch who didn't want to give me directions" look. Ah wells, it might be the only time seeing her so I didn't care anymore.
What I'm trying to say is that, don't assume. What you assume may not be the truth. Many people assume the worst. By assuming, you're not only putting the relationship you have with the person at risk, you're harming yourself. [Side note: no matter how small the encounter is, a bond/relationship would always be formed and influence your life.] What I mean by harming yourself is that once you assume, your emotions would be influenced by your assumption, which would then influence your actions and the people around you.
Sometimes things don't come to you directly. Thus, be bold and brave to ask. Be clear in your stand (which I have to work on) and don't say things which would lead to a deeper misunderstanding.

Yep. The forth vid isn't out yet but it should be out by tomorrow so those who are interested, just go follow lisa. I think I still have more to say but I can't think of them now. Haha.

Anyway, I know most of you must be thinking "She's talking bullshit. If she knew all those, would THAT drama have taken place?" Here's something I've not said before. I actually had a feeling it was gonna happen already. It doesn't help that we were suddenly very involved in the same things. The more time we spend together, the more friction there was. Plus, the reason why I didn't bother to clear up the misunderstanding was that, as childish as it may sound, I didn't want the friendship anymore. You can say that I was making use of the incident to break off the friendship. Shocked? I bet you are. But hey, I honestly did cherish the friendship BEFORE. I was just sick and tired with the fact that I couldn't be myself in front of her. Always being afraid that something I say may piss her off. To me, that's not a friendship. Although, yes, a friend is better than an enemy, I was simply too tired to keep up with the friendship.

Oh and here's a change of attitude: It's impossible to become strangers with her. The moment we crossed paths with each other, was the moment the unbreakable bond was formed. Although I have ceased to recognise the bond, the influence it had on my life is inevitable.

"Nothing is coincidental, only inevitable" - Yuuko from Tsubasa Chronicle/xxxHolic

Remember, what you think may not be what I think. The line between right and wrong is blurred. Feel free to say your point of view in my tagboard though.

Happiness.

Afraid

2010-03-04T23:51:00.002+08:00

I'm afraid. Afraid that my dad might be in mid-life crisis depression, afraid that me and him may not talk without hatred anymore. Maybe all will be well when I wake up tmr. Cos seriously, that's how my family works. We don't get angry with each other for long. Just that this time I think it'll take a little longer.

I had a heart to heart talk with my mum. I cried my heart out even though it was over MSN. I was really pissed with my dad, for wrecking my already messy room and forcing me to clean it up after he wrecked it. I might have been injured, I might have died. He used a hanger and slammed continuously on my table. Swept things off my table. Bobbi pins showered over me and if he slammed further, the tailoring shears (if that's what it's called. the big heavy scissors used to cut cloth) might have stabbed me.

I told my mum I was sorry that I would leave the house the moment I'm financially independent. I told her that I won't listen to my dad cos saying and doing things are two different things. He shouted at me, telling me to do this and do that, all to his bidding. Yes, it comes from goodwill but that's not how to do it. Plus, you can't force people into doing things. One last point, I don't have much respect for him. I respect him as my father but I won't respect the things he 'advices' me to do. E.g. Telling me to study hard while he isn't even trying hard enough to find a job.

I can't really rmb what he was shouting about cos I wasn't listening to him. Anyway, I know I sleep too much, I don't need him to tell me that. He's just telling me things I already know. But hey, at least I spend the time I'm awake sewing stuff which I can sell and checking up the web for preorders I can hold. Sure, thanks for doing the housework but housework can easily be split up among the family. You can still go out to work.

Oh, btw, he was slamming on my table cos I refused to go to lunch with him. I mean, who would wanna go with such a dangerous man? I told him I would settle lunch myself but he still forced me to. To protect myself from being murdered, I gave in. While I was changing, he went downstairs already. And just when I was about to go out, he called home and in a very irritated tone, he said, "What's going on?!" Like as if I wanted to stay at home and refuse to go out. Wtf. But actually I was secretly planning to run away to my grandma's house but he was staring at the stairwell so I had no place to escape.

Okay so I was really pissed and even broke down after he made that call before going down. When we got home, I closed my door and without respecting my privacy, he would just open the door and order me to clean my room. Seriously, ever heard of knocking? Ever know why I would close the door? So after he barged into my room 2-3 times, I locked it. He attempted to knock the door in a manner like he wanted to murder me but I refused to give in so he gave up after a few knocks.

Everything cooled down when my mum came home from work. My dad doesn't dare to do anything to us when my mum is around. Most probably cos he thinks that he 'owe's my mum as she is the only one bringing income to the family. You see, what kind of able-bodied man leeches off their wife and beats his children up? Okay not exactly beat us up but torture us mentally. He thinks that shouting and being violent would make us do his bidding. But it's actually cos we don't want to get ourselves killed.

Now the main point. I myself cooled down after my mum told me over MSN (which was during the period I hid in my room) that my dad might be suffering from mid-life crisis depression or some sort. Which is why my mum isn't pushing my dad so hard to get a job. Well, if he really has depression, he should go to a psychiatrist... Just throw the manly pride and go get yourself cured. I don't exactly blame him for getting depression... I have to admit, I can talk to my mum better than I can talk to my dad. Actually I can't even communicate with him properly. He only has 1 close friend who is often overseas. He stays at home most of the time. It's no wonder he gets depression. He has no one to confide to. He has nothing to occupy his mind other than housework. He is... lonely.

Yes, I feel guilty for not doing my part of a daughter in giving him family warmth. I still talk and laugh with him, my family still play games like monopoly together, but there's that closeness missing. We aren't as close as what daughter and father should be. But hey, he isn't doing things which can make things better. Screaming, shouting, being violent won't let me open up more to him.

What should I do? Don't tell me to send him to the psychiatrist cos I'm already suggesting that to my mum. I just feel lost and helpless. All I can do is cry and self-comfort myself in my misery.

Lol, looking on the bright side, things really aren't that BAD. Just that I had to let it off my mind so I kinda exaggerated a little. Esp the killing parts. ^^''

If you read till here, kudos to you for reading the whole chunk of crap. If you wanna advice me sth, I advice you to think twice first cos 1) You don't know my family, 2) Family issues are sensitive to me.

May all be well when I open my eyes in hours to come.

St. nicks love

2010-03-02T01:45:00.002+08:00

2am in the morning, watching youtube vids of St. Nicks.

I started watching the Mrs. Cheong farewell vid, when everyone was singing the IJ song together. I can still remember how I felt. I felt the warmth, I wanted to cry. As I watched the vid, nostalgia came rushing back to me. I wanted to cry.

I have to admit, I've been surpressing the feelings of missing St. Nicks for a long time now. Finally, all the memories are back flooding in my small pathetic brain. 10 long years worth of memory. I can still rmb the 1st day of school for both Pri 1 and Sec 1. As much as I'm excited to go to TP, I still can't help but wish I'm still in St. Nicks.

I miss Guides the most. It's one of the most significant moments of my life. Esp Nerice Aw, silly girl whom I've known since Sec 1. I'm really afraid we will lose contact in years to come. Even now, we haven't been chatting regularly on MSN. ): Nerice Aw, talk to me when you're free kay! Let's go out during your June hols!! :D

I need to go back to St. Nicks badly. Just to visit and see my little juniors working their butts off for O levels. ;x Oops. Hahaha. But I'll still miss the old campus. They are gonna renovate it so it won't be the same as before. ): I need a hug. A St. Nicks hug. I want all my friends, my teachers (no matter how sucky they are), my juniors, the school auntie and uncles and everyone invovled in St. Nicks. I just wanna be back for awhile more.

It's not that I didn't cherish the times I had in St. Nicks. Since Primary school, I've always told myself in random moments "I'm happy to be in the present".

Thank you to all that made the wonderful memories I had in St. Nicks. It has been a really awesome 10 years. Even though there were fights and arguements, I left St. Nicks without any enemies. I said sorry to those that I should have and all grudges were let go. We are all part of the St. Nicks family. (:

19th April, actually before that cos of Orientation, I'll be stepping into a new school. I'm excited yet scared at the same time. I've been in the same school, same environment for 10years. I have no idea how it feels like to be in the same school as a bunch of guys, no idea how I'm gonna adapt, no idea what friends I'll make.

But anyways, I miss St. Nicks. T.T... I just wanna cry and let all the emotions flow. ARGH!!

Okay. Enough. 10 years is over. Time for more exciting things ahead. I'll bring the memories along with me and move forward!! TP HERE I COME. I'm so gonna make nice memories in TP. I'm gonna join the Japanese Cultural Group and be a maid for the cafe they're planning. OH YEAH~!

HAHA. SOB SOB. HAHA. SOB SOB. OKAY I'M GOING MAD.

IJ Spirit burning bright...

Money

2010-03-01T12:30:00.002+08:00

钱不是万能，但没钱是万万不能。

Before poly even starts for me I'm already worrying about my university costs. IF I do really well in poly, like top 10% in my course, I might have a chance in going to a university to study Vet Science. It'll be like a dream come true. However, even if I am given this chance, frankly speaking, my parents do not have the money to send me overseas.

Theresa's mum called my mum a few days ago. She said the fees are like S$500k just for foundation year. I think it includes daily expenses and all the crap. And no, I don't think my parents have S$500k. I'm not looking down on my parents or blaming them. I'm merely stating reality.

Which is why, I have set a goal. Other than topping the class in poly, I also wish to set up a shop in these three years. It's hard, but I wanna try. Ever since I pulled myself out from the maid cafe boot camp, I wanted to be a boss of my own for some maid related thing. Mainly cos the boss was kinda fierce towards me so I wanna be a nice boss LOL. XD

Anyway, it's kinda hard to set up a maid related thing cos I haven't experienced the authentic ones in Akibahara yet. :\ I thought of 2 concepts so far but I'm not gonna write them here. If you wanna know, you can MSN me. (:

I'm trying to raise the capital for the shop by myself. I'm going to flea markets and stuff. I'm going for my first one on 13th and 14th March at Big Splash. I'm gonna see how it goes. (: If it's good, I'll bring in goods and be a regular at flea markets and bazaars and hopefully have the money to set up sth. 3 years aint very long so if I can't raise enough to set up a shop, I'll just gather the earnings from flea markets and see how I can contribute to my own education.

Oh and if you're wondering about scholarships, I can try that's no doubt. But facing reality, it's kinda hard for a poly student to have a scholarship. Plus, I don't think scholarships cover ALL your daily expenses so I still need money for that.

Being a Vet is my ultimate dream. I'm thinking of giving up cosplay (After my Nadeshiko) to save the money. Animals come before Animation. I don't want my mum to feel guilty if I am offered a chance but she don't have the means to send me over. The lecturer at TP told me that there were a couple that were offered but had to drop the offer as they didn't have the money to go over.

Well, I'm going to do whatever it takes for me to get that chance to study Vet Science. Oh and I won't let money making affect my studies. Studies is still above that.

One last thing. These 3 years ahead would be very important to me. So... if you're ever gonna do sth that will distract me (like bringing me to the arcade everyday LOL), I'll prolly kill you. (: Hahaha nah, just try not to force me out of my books too often. :D I still wanna join you guys for fun hor! Don't leave me out! XD

Yep. Ganbatte ganbatte Suzume! Go get the moolah and provide for yourself. There's a will there's a way. Don't give up! :D

Moomoomoolah.

SHAYTARDS!

2010-02-25T17:45:00.003+08:00

If you have no idea who shaycarl is, it's pretty obvious you haven't been to youtube in awhile.

You guys should check out his daily vlog. Having a happy life isn't that difficult. :D http://www.youtube.com/user/SHAYTARDS

Sometimes on his vlog he teaches his viewers some stuff. Like to enjoy life (going with the flow instead of against it), to be less critical (although constructive criticism is still necessary), etc.

By going with the flow, it means the flow of life. Just go along with it and enjoy it while it lasts. Instead of trying to go against it which IMO, may be like "Im NOT gonna do this and that, I HATE this and that..." Just DO it and ENJOY it. By being less critical, I think it means like instead of just saying "HEY, YOU SUCK, YOU ARE THIS AND THAT! HAHA LOSER!", say things like "Hey, you may be better if you do this and that...". Or another way is to just keep it to yourself. People dont have to know if youre just gonna critisize them.

He works for The Station. Check it out too. http://www.youtube.com/user/TheStation

And yes, they earn from youtube. How freakin cool is that? If you're not camera shy, it's probably the best way to make money. Of course, other than the haters on youtube.

OH OH. And check out the flash mob the group of them did:

Check out other peeps like KassemG, Hiimrawn, LisaNova, etc!

I love the shaytards.

No Maid Cafe

2010-02-24T15:46:00.003+08:00

Before I start, I would wanna thank ZR for coming all the way down to support me for the interview. :D Thank you!! If he wasn't there I think I would've been a hundred times more scared. :s Xie xie! ^_^

Anyway the interview was alright. Just that the boss was kinda fierce. She scolded me the moment I entered when it wasn't even my fault. In the end the scolded her employee. :s Scary. Everything seemed great until she told me it was a 1-year contract...

* Sigh *

Thus I've decided to withdraw from the boot camp. It's kinda sad cos I was that close in getting a chance to work in a maid cafe. I just don't think I can commit to a 1-year contract, esp if I wanna do well in poly. Therefore I decided to just go volunteer at a vet clinic. Ringo and Mikan seemed like such fun people to work with though. T.T...

Maybe I'll have another chance to work in a maid cafe, who knows? For now, studies come first. Then animals, then cosplay. Shall call up the vet today. (:

Oh oh and when I reached home yesterday, I felt like I was gonna have a fever. My temp was 37.1. :s But after a nice sleep, I woke up feeling better. :D Stupid cough, go away. Rawr!!

Nyan~

Sick D:

2010-02-22T22:22:00.002+08:00

Sian, my sore throat turned into a very bad cough. I'm so glad I didn't go for Chingay or I might have had an asthmatic attack or something. T.T The cough is making me sorta breathless and wheezy. Hais.

Anyway, to Tes, another reason I didn't wanna go is that I didn't wanna cosfuck either. I ordered the contact lenses like months ago so it isn't exactly my fault it's not coming in time. :\ And 1 more thing. I admit the whole SOY incident was all my fault. It's probably the dumbest decisions I have ever made (during the incident, not about forming the group). I have regreted and honestly learnt my lesson. I also understand that it's all a misunderstanding. But well, I'm sorry to say that as much as I admit this is my fault, I do not wish to patch up. :\ I know I sound like a bitch but I think it's better off how it is now. To end off, I would officially like to apologise to everyone that was pulled down the water during the whole hoo-ha. I'm really sorry and I will try my best not to repeat history ever again. Oh and one last thing, I really hope you'll stop bringing it up cos although I wanna bring my past along while I move on, I do not wish to talk or discuss about it ever again cos well, it's over.

That's another reason why I prefer being mature. I like it and it prevents me from getting into trouble. I was being a immature brat at that time which is why now everyone hates me. Ah well...

Oh my cough is better now actually. :D Although it still irritates me it's better than a few days ago. My voice would totally become like some freakish voice. O_O'' And tomorrow I'm going for a job interview! YAY!! I ALMOST didn't make it cos I only read the mail today and the deadline is today. PLUS, they wanted a resume plus pictures so I quickly did up my resume in like 15mins. :s AND AND, hotmail was having probs. I even tried using my dad's com and my bro's com but hotmail didn't work on neither of them. So I quickly made a gmail account and sent them my resume.

At the end of the day, I'm going for an interview at 3pm tomorrow! What interview? I won't tell you! Heehee~ If I get through then I'll tell you guys. HAHA. But if you're free tomorrow at 3pm and wanna come support me, MSN me and I'll tell you where to go. ^_^

* Cough cough *

No Chingay for me

2010-02-18T14:42:00.002+08:00

Okay so I've decided not to go for Chingay. :\

1. I think I'm falling sick. I have a sore throat and last night my body was burning for some reason. I was so hot that it kept me awake. I had to play Pokemon on my DS till close to 4am before I felt better. I chewed a strepsil to sleep. (:

2. My contact lenses has not arrived. I don't wanna go incomplete. :\ When I start something, I make sure that I complete everything. Same goes to cosplay. I know I'll feel empty and sucky and not in the mood if I go without my lenses. ):

3. I hate how they organise things. First, they made us go all the way to the PA HQ for a 10min briefing. Wtf. When I thought that 1hr briefing was bad enough. They told us from "7pm - 8pm". I had the packing job on that day so I didn't have time to eat before I went. When I reached at 7pm, I was the only one there. I had to wait a fucking half an hour before everyone came. And they gave us print outs of powerpoint slides and told us "Actually everything you need to know is on the slides. We'll put the slides up on the forum ASAP. Any questions?" WHAT. THE. FUCK. I had to STARVE, get into a fight with my dad cos I fucking can't find the PA HQ and this is what you want me to know? That everything is on the slides that would be on the forum? Seriously people, you guys suck. Secondly, till today (1 day before Chingay), they have not put up the allocations for the ambassadors. Please people, please. Thirdly, they expect us to learn 4 dances in 1 week plus their own choreographed dance. They can't even juggle the simple basics and they wanna throw in more rubbish. Plus, when I raised my concern, they told me "Just come down for the prac first." Wtf, no way am I going to waste my time on you people.

So there. Are my reasons valid enough? They don't even have enough freebies to give us. Way to go! Now THATS the way to thank the people who are giving you free labour. Even Admazine gives me $5/hour for giving out flyers. You? Free packed lunch? I bet it's some cold and soggy veggie. Please people, please.

PLEASE.

CNY + Valentines Day 2010

2010-02-16T23:28:00.003+08:00

CNY is probably my most loved celebration. (: Although, yes, the fun days are pretty much over but well, it's still fun. :D

I'm really grateful for CNY for 2 main reasons:
1. HONG BAO. $.$ I got a total of $652 + one more hong bao which I missed out. ;x Plus, mummy is gonna match it! :D So I get a total of $1304+ in my bank acc! Whee~!! Hahaha. I can't use the money. :\ My mum would only let me use it when "I grow up", which I never will, cos you know, we are always 'little' in the eyes of our parents. T.T But it's okay, it's better than spending all the money away. Anyway all the hongbaos I get for my birthdays are allowed to be spent but they are still in their red packets in my piggy bank. I just can't bring myself to spend them. Cos they aren't the money I earnt by myself and I feel that I shouldn't spend those money on clothes, toys, cosplay. Instead, I feel that they should be spent on stuff like my education. Well, that's what I think. (:

2. Family gathering. CNY is the chance where you see the relatives who you see only once a year (during CNY, duh). Without CNY, you prob don't even know they exist. o.o'' Plus, I love my cousins. (: They are all very fun people. Although, like I said, CNY isn't as fun as before. But just by hanging out with them, they make CNY lively. :D I gave all my cousins chocs. Me and my bro shared them (although payed by my parents. Oops.). ^_^ It was a CNY + Valentines Day choc. Hahaha.

This CNY, I applied my own make up and did my own hair. It was fun but tiring. I could only do make up 2 days straight. Cos the day goes like that:

Wake up late
Prepare for the day
Goes out
Play
Play
Play
Goes home tired and worn out

When I'm so tired, removing make up and hairspray is such a chore. But well, that's the price you have to pay for being vain. D: I'm thinking if I should go to poly with make up but that's another topic so let's discuss that another time.

For Chu Xi, I had a side half poly tail. I curled the pony tail. I didn't have a curler or straightener so what I did was when my hair was semi dry, I used a toilet roll kind of thing (it's NOT a toilet roll) and wrapped a section of my hair around it. Then I used my hair dryer to dry it and sprayed some hairspray. It worked. Although not as effective, but it was still passable. :D When I was done, I realised I had hair rollers. Phail.

For Chu 1, I did make up as usual and since I didn't wash my hair in the morning I couldn't do curls so I just tied it up into a nice pony tail. (:

The rest of the days I gave up and slacked. :P

Oh ya, I wanted to talk about my valentine dates. XD I'm so not fated to go out on 12th Feb. Hahaha.

1. I asked JP for a last minute v-day photoshoot. He suggested a short one on 12th Feb evening. I wasn't sure cos my sun burns were still peeling so my skin colour was uneven (It's okay now! Yay!!). I smsed him cos by the time I saw his msg he was offline le. My fault for MIA-ing suddenly. ;x I went to watch the Coffin. Tehe~ Anyway he only saw the msg on 12th Feb morning when he was at work already I think. So he didn't bring his cam so no photoshoot~

2. I initially wanted to ask ros to be my camerawoman in case JP couldnt make it. But when I asked her if she had half day on 12th Feb, she replied "Visit Zhang Ah Yi?" So why not? XD Ros only cfmed with me at like midnight so I didn't wanna sms Zhang ah yi in case I disturbed her sleep or sth so I asked Ros to sms her in the morning. Zhang ah yi didn't reply till about like 2pm on 12th Feb and when I msged her again she only replied at 7pm. -_- So no Zhang ah yi visiting. But we'll prob be going on Sat or Sun. (:

3. Jes msged me at like 2pm if I wanted to meet up with her and Jac. I asked her to msg me when the timing was cfmed but Jac told her she was alrdy on her way home so the thing was cancelled. :\ Poor Jac must be so tired.

In the end, I went out with my family to eat. :D See, your family is always there for you. XD!

Hahaha so yeap. That was my CNY and valentines day! Happy New Year people! Hu Nian Xing Da Yun~ Lovey Dovey~ Oh and guess what, the only person who smsed me a happy CNY and valentines day was my ex. How ironic. :\

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Nostalgia

2010-02-09T02:06:00.003+08:00

Oh Baby I'll Wait For You...

I'm feeling nostalgic all over again. I get let go of THAT, but this is so hard to let go. If you tell yourself you've gotten over it but yet when you look at the vid again you get all nostalgic and love sick, then THAT's not getting over it.

Aww, just let me pour out my sorrows here. It's my blog, right?

Here's the ancient vid I made for him years ago:

When I asked him if he ever loved me, he said I loved maple instead of him (since it's all maple pics). Fine, I'm sorry I didn't have anything else to put. I think I've mentioned this in my blog before but that's ancient too. Argh.

Whenever you meet a guy, will you always think "THIS is it. He's the one"? That's what I thought even though we never met. Honestly I don't believe that he never liked me a single bit. If he didn't, he wouldn't have stuck with me for 1.5years and did the sweet things.

Everyday when I went online, the one I'm looking forward to is talking to him over MSN. We would talk about almost everything. Everything we're doing, gonna do and did. I remember we always ate chips and funny thing is that when I have chips, he doesn't. And when he does, I don't. Whenever we had tummyaches from eating too many chips, we would show concern to each other and advice over MSN. He was just so sweet....

I guess it's all fate right? I was the stupid one who initiated the break. It's probably one of my biggest regrets. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't initiate the break. I still remember vividly how we broke up. We were exchanging smses, I was at causeway point eating Sakae Sushi. I may even rmb which seat my family was seeting at. It was the last day of the March holidays in Secondary Two...

But anyway, about fate. He applied for NUSHS DSA too. But he didn't get in either. I think he got into the 2nd round as well. So both of us aren't fated to be in the same school. He lives in Woodlands while I live in Bishan. Come to think about it, I wonder if he saw me while I was giving out flyers at causeway point... But I don't think so. Didn't see anyone who looked like him. Plus, he doesn't recognise me anyway. He also can't be bothered to see my pictures over at facebook cos I mean nothing to him.

Hais... I remember both of us playing MSN games when maple was patching. Those good days. I have to admit, Maple was really good at that point of time. The game was not bad, but the company was the one that made things awesome. Haha, wanna know how we met?

In maple, of course. We were both at Henesys. I actually forgot this but he remembered. Is it just that his memory is good or what... Anyway my friends all had 'maple dears'. So I thought why not I get one too? Hahaha. I was looking one to suck money out from. Yes, I was so evil. He was wearing cash items at that point so I was like "YES. RICH ONE HERE. NOW CHIONG AH!!" I forgot how we started our conversation but he started 'bullying' me so I was like "I CALL MY DEAR HERE AH!" and he was like "where? where?" and I went "don't have la..."

Lol yes, damn childish. Hey, I was Primary 6 then kay. ;x Anyway we added each other and stuff. And I THINK I was the one who freakin 'proposed' to him. Lol wtf. And well, love for his money became love for him. AWW~ -_-''

Oh and I also rmb how he's so particular about ss (screenshots). We would always be in a party so he doesn't like the health bar so he would always quit the party so that it'll be perfect. I wonder what he did with those ss... He probably deleted them for more space or just threw away his hard disk. As for mine, I THINK they are in my external hard disk. Uh oh. (Which is why I don't wanna delete the vid)

I'm not even sure if it's called love. Did I see him as a lover? Or as a best friend? All I know is that I want him to be friends with me again. It's tearing me up inside now cos we used to be so close. Talking to each other day and night and now we talk every few months. And it's less than 15mins.

Oh and there was once I actually asked him (while we were still together) if he really loved me. And he said yes. I was shocked. At that time I only started to like him a little. But well, all is but a lie. He's such a liar, such a bastard, such a heartbreaker, but I still want him back. Suzume you're fucking weak.

It has been... close to 3 years since we broke up. I have many previous posts which say that I've let go but no... I haven't. Even as a friend, it's sad to see what we've become just cos we broke up. Okay I think this post is long enough. I shall go listen to the song once more and then feel miserable in my seat.

Swt

[**sunshinebloom**]

Lesson learnt

Reasons

New Blog!

Music

CSC

Stress

Disappointed

Teddy & CSC

Taking flight

Takahashi Ai

Everyday

Thanks, but no thanks

Cry

Depression

Give me a reason

Not fun

Review

Endure

Random?!

Just thinking...

If I had another chance

What is true love?

Cousins for life

感谢

Happy Birthday?

Letting go

Am I forgotten?

True Love

良かったね。

Everything is in a mess

Press on, Suzume!

Missing you guys

Which is right?

If you really love me

I opened my eyes today

Confused

Not Caring Anymore

Term test results

Happy Belated 2011!

"People Always Leave"

Update on my life

Jap lessons

Mdm Wong Shelter

Sem 1.1 results

Disappointed

I'm Sorry

Suki, Suki, Suki~

WKD Project

Natsu Matsuri!

Irritated

One last time

Kami-sama

DOUBLE POST.

I think I really do like you.

Holidays and Hormones

Yearning

Updates!

Irritated

Cosplay

Results and CCA

Trolls

MOY + school reopen

Working + cosplay!

PISSED.

300th post!

Busy!

Holidays!! :D

Flashmob @ Changi Airport!

Term tests

Term test next week!

School Life

Selfish?

Week 1

Cliques

Yuki almost left

Last day of orientation

Muscleaches. ):

Orientation Day 2

Orientation Day 1

[sunshinebloom]