What. The. Hell.

Back in SGClub, in Team Hotness's cosplay thread, there's is CERTAIN SOMEONE who said HE's plan is gonna be ____. He asked for my plans. So I just told him. "No harm" anyway, right?

And then, he went off to make a new thread under cosplay grouping. And guess what? He was recruiting members for a Shugo Chara team for EOY. Worst thing? HE's gonna do my character? What are the chances, really? Me telling him my Nadeshiko Fujisaki plans for EOY, him suddenly changing his plans, changing to do the character I'm gonna do, plus rush for EOY.

Is he against me or what?

Be prepared for ownage, my dear.

I swear, I can't get enough of fangirling for Kuroshitsuji. Maria watched 5eps so far and we are already fangirling in school. XD She keeps saying Ciel is cute while I say Sebby is hot. Wahahahaha. XDXD

I can't wait to fangirl with her tomorrow! :D We'll both go damn high and imitate Sebby's "Yes, my lord" and "Akuma de shitsuji desu kara". Lolol. Oh and somehow I "became" her butler and she's my bokuchan. ._. AND we both want a butler like Sebby! LOL. I NEED TO FANGIRL NOW.

No anime has made me re-watch it before. Not even Naruto. Or maybe because Naruto is still on-going. But but but Kuroshituji made me re-watch ep 4 (where they went to the ball)[re-watched 3 times le LOL] and I wanna re-watch ep 6 but stupid com is lagging like crazy when I play a vid. -.-

Episode 6 is when Greil says that if it's Sebby's child he'll be willing to bear it. LOL. I think it's damn hilarious. ^_^ Maria is gonna watch 2 more eps today so more fangirling tomorrow! Yay!! <33 .

Sebasu-chan~

Oh what the hell. Blogger is screwed again. But heck, shall survive. >=]

Ahh... I need to dance... Like seriously. I dunno why, but recently my love for dancing suddenly increased. Even now, as I'm listening to Kuroshitsuji's opening song: Monochrome no Kiss, I have the urge to dance!! The beat is soooo nice and it really makes your body wanna move along. ^_^

OH OH THOSE WHO HAVE NOT WATCHED KUROSHITSUJI PLEASE GO AND WATCH. [ahahahaha I influenced Maria to watch. ;x a bit guilty though. since it's prelims now. :s]

Kuroshitsuji is suuuuuuuuuper nice can. I haven't had this feeling for such a long time!! I think since I watched Naruto ahhahaha. Naruto was my "first" anime (if you exclude doraemon and sailor moon and pokemon and digimon) I've watched. XD So you can't blame me~ In my 2 years of anime life, no other guy characters in animes other than Kakashi has made me so crazy over them. Even Ikuto didn't have the power to. However, sebby had~~ Uwaahhh aishiteru yo! :D

Sebby is serious yet cute. Kakashi is cute yet serious. Wanna win my heart? Be cute and serious. Bweheehee~ Kyaaa~ God, I must stop fangirling! x.x

Last night Red showed me gay fanmade Kuroshitsuji. I didn't know yaoi can be so extreme. T.T I actually saw my sebby sucking balls and penis of Ciel. Oh god, my poor mind. Get me Ash and purify my impure mind. ;x Thank GOD it was fanmade. I can't imagine what I'll do if sebby really did that. I think I'll just go cry in Kakashi's arm and throw darts at Sebby's face day and night. Demo, yappari, I can't bare to do that to Sebby~!!! My glass heart just shattered into many pieces.

Argh. Tomorrow is emath and elit. x.x I'm so afraid of both the papers. I haven't prac emath hard enough and I haven't memorized themes and quotes of Whale Rider. It's 5pm now and I have 7 hours before I have to go to bed. I wonder if I can make it. o.O... If I stop going to youtube for sebby cosplay maybe I'll be able to do it. ^^'' Sebby really came at the wrong time. Oh and I shouldn't have finished it in 2 days... Should have watched it one by one and enjoy it for a longer time~ KYAAA~~

Okay I better go now. REALLY wanna get my A1 for emath. I'm not so sure of elit though. Totally no confidence at all. -.- Blehh.

akuma de shitsuji desu kara

Ooo~ Blogger is back to normal. XD

Anyway, I'm not sure what sparked me to feel this way... But I suddenly realised how much I love Team Hotness. I've always thought of them as special friends... Now, they are more than special to me. They are friends that I really don't wanna lose. I wanna be with them... At events, at meet ups, at random outings... Isshou ni.

I can't wait till Os end. I wanna study hard, show them good results so prove that my 'sacrifice' (not going for events with the Team) is all worth it. Watashi... Honto ni minna ga... Da-i-su-ki.

LOL. sounds like a confession. XD Demo, I really love you guys. A lot. To be honest, in school, I have really good friends. But I can't seem to see the future with them... Like... Will we be able to keep in contact? Or will they just be like my previous friends... just fade off when we graduate?

The Team is different... If we put in effort, I'm sure we can stay together as long as possible. Why? Cos the thing which is keeping us together is our interest. Or... maybe not. I was thinking... if anyone of us decides to quit the world of Japanese sub-culture, what would happen? I think... we'll still be together. Zettai ni. Even when our interests fades, when we proceed into even more different lifestyles, the bond would still be there. I have to say this again: Fate brought us together.

We developed from a mini introduction of Red-sama. As we chatted, somehow, we turned from individuals to a group. We named ourselves Team Hotness, and had our wonderful first outing on 16th May. I'm sure everyone will remember that date forever. (: It was fun, it was... so pure.

Demo... what has the team become? Pain, tears, anger. We fought, we shouted, we gossiped. It hurts... To see the Team being scarred this way. Mou... yamete. Stop this crazy act. Stop. I want the Team Hotness I had on 16th May back. Come back... No more hatred, no more tears, no more heartaches. Can we leave behind the pain and start anew? Can we fix this together? Piece by piece, we can place the broken bits and pieces back together... To form the Team Hotness we once were. Watashi... shinjimasu. We can do it. Like I've said, Team Hotness CAN be together always.

Ne, yakusoku?

Onegai.

Ahh~ Lonely and sad. ._.

My beloveds are having so much fun at Natsu Matsuri. T.T I can handle missing out cosplay events like cosfest but I wonder why I'm feeling so depressed about Natsu Matsuri. * whines *

Argh! I can't wait till a year passes and I would be free from Os and can go to Natsu Matsuri with no worries~ Yahaaa!!

I bet everyone is in their pretty yukatas and having soooo much fun. I hope nothing awkward happened though... Maa, I don't think I have to worry about them. (: Team Hotness are wonderful people who'll always find a way out.

"When there's a will there's a way. Team Hotness will always be there to save your day." Desho?

Eh. I'm not making any sense. Ohmygod. Is this what happens when there's no more anime to watch, have to mood to chiong emath and when everyone is out for Natsu Matsuri? Uwahh!! Tasukete!! x.x

Before I start bullshitting anymore I guess I'll go chiong my emath NOW. NOW SUZUME, NOW. You don't wanna die for Os right? Ohmygod I'm talking to myself again.

Buh-bye!

It has been a long time ever since someone or a group of people almost made me cry.

I hate it. I hate myself. I hate people who make me cry. I'm so full of hatred.

I no longer care. Tell me to stfu for all you care. Being attacked by 1,2,3,4 people at the same time hurts. My eyes were really filled with tears at that moment. I was just trying to help... I didn't even get to finish what I wanted to say. I guess my english language simply sucks.

I've had enough. I should be concentrating on my prelims and Os and people like HIM just had to intrude my life. On the first day I didn't feel anything at all. I wasn't shock, I wasn't touched. But as days went by, things weren't the same. It was obvious HE was avoiding me. It made me dislike him even more day by day. Act like your age already.

Sorry guys. It might be stress, I dunno. Or maybe I'm just back to being a bitch. It's not easy being the happy-go-lucky and cheerful person all the time. Some people just need to rant kay? Don't take what I've just said seriously. It's out of anger and I just needed to let it out.

Just let me cry.

Sup sup! :D Hehe, these few days I've been liking to say that. "Sup sup!" + cool sign. XD

Anyway, I think I laughed for the hardest in my life today at school. Well, excluding the times with Nerice we laugh EVERY single time we meet. Hahas. Hmm, I think it happened during math lesson. Pei Yi went to cut her carebear's hair cos it was rough and frizzy. XD Then she cut it into a retro hairstyle! That was already funny enough. But then, Sin Hong just HAD to add in -that- comment. It made me and Pei Yi laugh till our stomachs hurt. Seriously, I almost teared. And my already quite sore throat becomes even more sore. I never laughed till I had a sore throat before. o.O

Haha, shall leave out the details cos it's rather -ahem-.

Oh and Bingo is addictive. o.o''

Moving on...

I've decided to abolish my pidgeot plans for EOY. Mainly because the colours for the feathers were had to find. Thus I decided to go for something simpler for my first cosplay...

Nadeshiko Fujisaki! :D (girl version)

It's much simpler than pidgeot cos pidgeot needed wings. The main problem is the boots and checkered cloth. These 2 would be hard to find. :\ Nevertheless, I shall give it a go. Shall list down the things I need for Nadeshiko:

1. 100cm Dark Purple wig
2. White long sleeved blouse
3. Red tie (thin)
4. Black jacket (?)
5. White underknee socks
6. Red ribbons
7. Wire (To make the ribbons stand)
8. Dark brown knee high boots
9. Red checkered cloth (For skirt and cape)
10. Materials for Temari egg (:
11. Yellow contacts

I'm still thinking if I should make Temari. I guess it'll depend on the amount of time left bahs. If I still have time, I'll probably attempt to make her. :D

Lazy to post her picture here. So just go yahoo! and search "Nadeshiko Fujisaki". She's the girl wearing a red cape and jap school uni. Well you can judge from the list of things I need.

Okay, tired now. :( Shall go take a nap. It's friday afterall! ^_^ 90+ more days till end of Os. Whoo~

You don't mean a thing to me. Fuck off.

I'm happy. (: Just happy. Simple as that.

During English lesson today, I was called to read an oral passage for the whole class. I knew she wanted to call me earlier but kept mistaking me as Yuan Yee... But that doesn't matter. XD Before I started, I was unsure of myself. But I bit my lip and went on with it. The first few words went fine but soon after that my heart started thumping so fast. I guess I'm just not the type of person who can speak in front of so many people... Despite the fact that I've been with my class for close to 2 years now. :(

Nevertheless, I just let the blood rush all over my body. Anyway I only need my mouth and eyes right? XD So yeah, continued till the end. Mrs. Tian corrected me here and there but I was still shocked at the fact that she didn't correct me until the second half of the passage. I thought she was just tired or something. When I finished, she said, "Not bad."

At that moment, I was feeling really relieved and happy. For the first time, I was praised for my oral! Although it's only "not bad", but it means a lot to me. Considering that fact that during prelims oral, Mrs. Tian read out the comments and all my comments were negative comments. No positive ones at all. And now, I get praised! I was only corrected 2-3 times. I feel accomplished.

I know it's nothing to boast about but as I said, it really means a lot to me. Oral is just around the corner so with just "not bad" from Mrs. Tian, I'm feeling more confident about myself already. (: Yoshi! I can do it!! :D

I know I can, nya.

Suzuki Suzume 鈴木・雀
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CHIJ St. Nicholas Girls' School
Temasek Polytechnic
Applied Science School - Veterinary Technology

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