Thursday, January 07, 2010 10:09 PM
Hi world, I'm pissed. Like seriously pissed. I usually don't talk in a serious and angry tone to my friends so this is how serious it got.
Before I start, I'm not pinpointing anyone here. It's just the points that made me think during today's prac. I'm feeling really pissed so just let me rant. I think some of my points won't even make sense anyway. It usually happens when I get really pissed. I just ramble stuff that comes directly into my brain.
1. Who the fuck is the leader here?
I know, I'm soft-spoken and rarely speak up. But that does NOT give any of you the rights to climb all over my head. I welcome all sorts of suggestions but I just HATE it when you people just don't wanna give up. I am human too, I have a limit to my patience.
2. I am not committed?
Seriously, it's quality, not quantity. It is NOT how much you practiced, but how WELL you do it. Show that you can do it better than me and know the steps well before giving me your fucking black face. I see no reason why I have to put up with you.
3. Priorities?
What fuck. I NEVER said I wanted this group to be famous with fangroups and stuff. From my post: "Why? O_O Why? Cos I feel like it. o.o''" All I simply wanted was for people to have great and fun memories together. But it was all destroyed today. My life don't revolve around the dance group only. I do have other more important stuff to do. If you don't then it's not my fucking problem. I have already apologized for the last minute arrangement. What more do you want? Kow tow in front of you? Dream on. And oh please, talking about priorities, what were we doing today? Arguing about the hair and make up which is secondary instead of using the precious time we had left to practice together. Who were the ones who said that we didn't have time? We could always talk about that at night on MSN. It doesn't help with the fact that me and felicia have stuff on on Friday and Saturday. I'm fucking sick because I keep staying up late, watching the vids over and over again and trying to correct our mistakes. Fuck it.
4. Take some time and try understanding others.
Most of us are cosplayers and do not mind stares. But not all people are like that. Go figure yourself.
5. I have no experience in singing nor have any proper training in dance.
I always didn't really like singing in front of people so my vocals are not really trained well. I have only danced in Guides (Racial Harmony dance and Campfire dance). I never really performed in a proper hall before. My point here is, although you can do it, it does not mean others can. No point in forcing people. Like how I didn't force you guys to join this group. I do not have talent in singing nor dancing. I'm sorry for that.
6. Why so serious?
Do you people rather I not care about whether you have fun or not and force you guys to do it MY way cos it simply looks a tad nicer? Seriously, do you? Like I said, the most important thing is the fun we have from this. Ever heard of 台上十分钟，台下十年功? People may not know how much we have put in and what we have experienced. So why not just enjoy the process to the max and show them what we got? I see no point in getting so upset during the process. This way, when I perform I don't even think I'll perform well. The spirit won't be there and it'll be simply doubly hard to bring our the happy mood. Is this what you guys want? To be unhappy? I don't see a point in doing this if you guys think so.
All in all, I just want you guys to enjoy this. The main reason I got pissed was because it was getting too serious. And I don't like it that way. We are not even professional dancers going for professional auditions. Oh and talking about auditions, it's just a fucking audition. Once again, although I know it's to increase the chances of getting in, why so serious? The people who are going to judge us are just a group of poly students. And they are also not professional dancers nor singers.
I guess you guys are hating me now. I really hate posting posts like this but i'm really to my max already. That's how serious this matter pissed me. Whatever it is, peace. I know it's difficult, but peace. I know by posting this post I'm not doing the situation any better, but peace.
Cool down and fucking listen to my instructions from now on.
雀です。